You Are Good Enough For Love

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The misperception that causes the most trouble in all relationships is the idea that we have to prove we are good enough to be worthy of love and acceptance. It is the basic lie of our childhood domestication, and the foundation of all the other life-limiting beliefs we've made in our lives. The lie says we won't be able to relax and really enjoy our lives until we have improved, enhanced, developed, achieved, and reached the ultimate in our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual skills and capabilities.

When you stop to think about it, it doesn't really make any sense. Does IT!? We have to be better to be worthy of love? Everyone has to be better than they are? Weird. Everyone has to reach higher standards of achievement than... who? Themselves? Each other?

We learned we weren't good enough when our caregivers set conditions for their love. They made it clear they were angry, disappointed, hurt, sad, or uninterested because of our attitudes, behaviors, or lack thereof. What we did wasn't good enough for them to be constantly delighted in us.

So we learned to hide our emotions, needs, and truth, in order to avoid their rejection and earn their approval, acceptance, safety, love, or interest. For many of us, the agreements from childhood became the agreements of our adult lives. Most adults believe they must prove their worth. And romantic relationships with that lie as a foundation are doomed to failure. When two people are trying to get each other's approval by pretending to be someone they are not in order to hold on to the "love" from the other... there is only fear, not real love.

Here it is:

"You can never be good enough by proving you are!"

I said that. And I'll say it again and again!! The only thing you have to do is KNOW you are okay right here, right now, in this moment -- you are a perfect, glorious inspiration of Life, from Life, and as Life. There is nothing to prove, defend, get right, justify, hide, or improve! You are actually the source of love in your life.

If you don't know that simple truth, your relationships will always be difficult, because you will always be trying to prove your worth, and denying the truth of the real you.

I counsel singles and couples to guide them to relationships based on the truth of the perfection of themselves, their partners, and the universe. It is the only way I know to be at peace and IN love, with self and others.

"Allan, we are increasingly appreciative of the time we spent with you, and for what an amazing teacher you are." L.M., Canada

I would be honored if you offered me the opportunity to support you in the same way I did with Kevin and Karen (a married couple I counseled in an article featured in "FIRST for Women" national magazine) and countless others in the last 20 years. We can work by Skype, phone, or here in Chacala during my Valentine's Relationship Retreat or with a personal intensive. I am here to serve you.

Please read about my counseling options here

Read the article about my work with Kevin and Karen here

Read my article about The New Relationship ~ Five Agreements to Make Love Come True


And purchase the 5 CD set of my Five Agreements here

Please contact me, and we'll go from there. My website is in a bit of disarray, so contact me directly as needed: allanh@sonic.net

Yours IN love and The New Dream of Peace in the Hearts of All Humans,


Allan