Musings of a Toltec Master. . .Allan Hardman

Giving Meaning to Life (Chacala Style)

2012-01-23T07:24:00.000-08:00

"Giving Meaning to Life (Chacala Style)"

What Gives Meaning to Your Life?

A Chacala Story...

After the summer rains, the dirt street in front of my home in Chacala, Mexico, was in bad shape. The neighbors got together and brought in loads of rock and dirt and graded it nice and straight and smooth. AND dusty! With the new surface, people could drive faster on the road and the resulting clouds of dust swarmed around my house and snuck through windows and doors and settled on everything.

Some people here water the streets in front of their homes and business to keep down the dust. I tried it, but it took too much time and there often isn't much water pressure here. I was lamenting to a neighbor that I needed a helpful teen to do the job for me, but there aren't any right around here.

My neighbor suggested I ask my next door neighbor Señor B to do it. He is 80+ years old, and no longer very stable on his feet. I wasn't sure about the idea, partly because I often need a translator to help me understand Sr. B's Spanish!

The next day when I was watering the street again, Sr. B approached me about doing it for me. It turned out my neighbor had already shared her idea with him, so we agreed on a "salary,"and I gladly turned over my duty to him. As I watched him the next couple of days I realized we needed to turn up the energy and scope of his job description.

I added a length of hose so he could reach farther in both directions, took off the feeble spray nozzle, suggested he take more time to really soak the dirt, and I doubled his salary. "Mas mangera, mas tiempo, mas calle, y mas dinero." (More hose, more time, more street, and more money!).

Sr. B lives very simply on a very small pension. He lives in a cement block space of about 300 square feet with no windows and one steel door -- as many older people here do. After the first few days of the "job," my neighbor reported that Sr. B had shared a new sense of value and purpose to his life. His responsibility has given him new structure and meaning. I had no idea this would happen, I only wanted to get rid of the dust!

I'm delighted. Sr. B meticulously waters the street from edge to edge every day now. The dust problem is virtually eliminated. But even more important has been my realization that such a simple idea could change his life the way it has. Today he told me another neighbor asked him to keep going past my house to theirs! He has a new career!

I smile as I share this with you.

Side note: Sr. B was hit by a car years ago, and has been very afraid of cars since then. I often see him nervously scampering to safety when he is walking down the street and a car approaches. Today I watched him at his work and noticed he had more authority about his street. He seemed less anxious and even directed one truck around his hose.

What about you? What gives meaning to your life?

allanh@sonic.net -- Or (707) 206-7623 (rings through to Chacala from northern California toll free.)

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I'm so grateful to be able to share with you here. My life and work and Joydancer and TACO (my online Toltec spiritual and networking community) are all dedicated to helping us learn and remember the truth of our oneness as the Divine essence that creates and animates this universe... and each part of it in each moment. Including you and me!

I am available by phone, Skype, and e-mail if you would like support for your life journey. I look forward to hearing from you.

Phone: (707) 528-1271

Skype: (707) 206-7623

Email: allanh@sonic.net

Details about consultations and apprenticeship are here.

Your Very Own Personal Companion

2012-01-12T16:17:00.000-08:00

"Your Very Own Personal Companion"

The Toltecs say that humans are sick because there is a parasite in their minds that eats their negative emotions. It not only eats the negative emotions, but it also does everything it can to get the human to dream in fear, so it will have lots to eat.

In most people, the parasite is in charge of perception. It tells lies in the mind, and the person believes them: "You have to look good for other people. There is a limited amount of love and attention available, and you need them to survive. You have to be good and get it right for other people, to deserve your share of the love." The parasite learned all its lies during childhood, and continues to repeat them in the adult mind. The lies create more fear for the parasite to eat.

The parasite is a living dream, dreamed in different ways and degrees by all humans. When you were born into the parasite dream of your family, they began to take little pieces of their parasite and put them in your mind. These were like seeds -- little beliefs and lies based in fear -- and they grew in your mind. In time, those seeds grew into your unique personal parasite, which has been with you ever since.

Dictionaries define parasite as a living being that lives on or in another organism, sucking its energy, and offering no advantage to the host. Often parasites weaken their hosts a little at a time. The parasite in the human mind creates and eats negative thoughts and emotions, drains the human's personal power, and robs his body of its vitality. The Toltecs know that the parasite is the cause of many diseases of both the mind and body.

The parasite's job is to keep you in line, following the rules that the judge knows society wants you to follow, so you will be loved and accepted. The parasite controls your behavior with fear. The minute you try to create new beliefs for yourself, especially based in love, the parasite is terrified. It knows that in the past, going against the outside dream meant rejection, punishment, or worse. The parasite will do everything it can to sabotage your efforts to change your personal dream. It fears for your safety, and ultimately your life. Who could blame it? The parasite learned well, in a very tough school.

If your personal parasite can't control you, there is always the big parasite, the living being that is the dream of the planet. It taught your parasite everything it knows, and colludes with your parasite to keep you asleep. Everyone knows the rules and how to remind you of what will happen if you break them.

- An excerpt from The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, by Allan Hardman

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Learn to break the spell of the parasite -- order The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book here.

Check out TACO -- my Online Toltec Community of men and women supporting each other and themselves on the road to personal freedom: http://tolteconline.com

I am available for counseling: allanh@sonic.net or call (707) 528-1271

A Blessing Prayer for the New Year

2012-01-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

"A Blessing Prayer for the New Year"

"I Fling My Heart Open to Thee"

Divine Presence, I fling my heart open to thee.

Show me the way to your perfect Grace.

I dance with thee in this New Year.

My heart is open wide,

and your love pours through me,

and I see your love in all that is.

I see your love in my Beloveds,

In the rain and sun and wind and heat and cold.

I see your love in all success and adversity,

I see your love in every aspect of your Creation.

I say YES to all that is, knowing it is all You.

In this New Year, may I let nothing obscure my vision of you,

And your Grace.

My eyes are open wide,

and my heart is ripped open

In my desire to be possessed by you.

Take Me, Take Me, Take Me.

I have nothing to surrender,

because all that I AM is You.

Divine Presence, I fling my heart open to thee.

Show me the way to your perfect Grace.

I dance with you in this New Year.

IN Love.

And so it is.

Allan

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I have been delighted and grateful to have shared part or all of 2011 with you here on my blog, in my newsletter, at Summer Celebration of Life, the pyramids, the Chacala beach, other events, and in our hearts. Thank you for traveling this journey with me.

I know 2012 will be a fascinating year, including the mixed predictions about the Mayan Calendar, changes in the consciousness of we humans, and so much more.

And 2012 also means a dream come true for me, as I begin a weekly radio show on Conscious Relationships -- starting Sunday January 8, 7:00-8:00 pm Pacific time.

For radio show details, click here.

YOURS IN LOVE AND ANTICIPATION OF A GREAT YEAR!!

Allan

I enjoy your feedback: allanh@sonic.net

Or (707) 206-7623 (rings through to Chacala from northern California toll free).

The Divine Child Within ~ Another Look at Christmas

2011-12-23T15:37:00.000-08:00

The Divine Child Within

~~Another Look at Christmas~~

I would like to start this sharing with wishing you a Merry Christmas. And then I want to direct your attention to a way we can use this season of merriment and confusion to honor an important part of ourselves...one that often gets left behind in the busy shuffle of life.

The story of this season is about the birth of a divine child, and I would like to suggest the story is also a lovely reminder of the divine child each of us came here to be. When you came into this life, you had no judgments, no opinions, no fears, no self-consciousness -- you were completely free to be who and what you were. Without judgment there is perfection, and in that perfection is the divine.

So you came to this life as that divine perfection. We all did, of course. We lived in and through that perfection for the first several months of our lives-- we accepted our bodies, our emotions, and all the people and events around us without question. Everyone recognized our divine nature, and wanted to pick us up and bathe in our non-judgmental acceptance. We all want to make eye contact with an infant for as long as the child will tolerate it. We feel their love/acceptance, and we begin to mirror it and send it back. What's to judge about an infant? Bad hair day? Crooked diaper? Wrong attitude? There is nothing there but to fall INTO love.

Because of the dynamics of culture and social domestication, our caregivers began to feed us parts of how they were dreaming life-- much of it based in fears, rules, expectations, judgments, manners, and more fears. They taught us we were not perfect, not divine, and that we had to be good, better, more, in order to earn that value-- while at the same time letting us know the goal of perfection was unattainable. We learned to agree, although most of us vigorously resisted the loss of our own personal way of dreaming life. They call it the "terrible two's." It is terrible for a young child!

That divine child we came into this life as is still right here with us. He or she hasn't gone anywhere, except to be lost in the rubble of someone else's dream. To reclaim that divine perfection -- not as an innocent child now, but with the wisdom of an adult -- just might be a powerful and healing backdrop to the other events of this holiday season.

How do we reclaim that divine child within? First comes the desire, then the intention, then our attention to the task, then deliberate action. This intention and action is how I live my life and what I share with my clients and apprentices. We can do it!

First, recognize the universe as one perfect whole. If there is only one universe, there cannot be anything outside of it to judge it. If there is nothing to judge the universe, I claim it has to be called "perfect." If this universe is a perfect whole, then there cannot be any imperfect part in that perfect whole. YOU cannot be an imperfect part of the whole. The trees and squirrels and clouds and galaxies and microbes are all perfect parts of the whole. And YOU.

If you accept my logic, then the rest is easy: Retrain your mind to stop judging you as imperfect, as bad or wrong or not enough. Insist the judge in your mind leave you alone. Your job is to protect that divine child within from the lies of imperfection, the lies of "not _______ enough." Your job is to reclaim and bring back into your life the divine child within.

This then, is the second coming of the divine child within.

The reclaiming of your perfection in the eyes of Life.

If you want help, I am here. That's what I do. Please contact me.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas,

and a Very Happy New Year

God Bless us one and all.

Love.

Allan

allanh@sonic.net

Or (707) 206-7623 (rings through to Chacala from northern California toll free).

Some Personal Thoughts, and the Solstice

2011-12-22T06:14:00.000-08:00

Some Personal Thoughts, and the Solstice

This is a special day of the year for those of us in the north. I am writing and sending this almost exactly at the same time of the winter solstice, 2011. I am at my winter home at the beach in Chacala, Nayarit, Mexico. It is very special here, and I still want you to join me here!

At this darkest longest night of the year, even here in paradise the night is cool... it must be winter! Walking back from eating tacos (the real deal) at the beach tonight, the dark sky was filled with starts. It is so very beautiful here. I feel very blessed. The village is filled with the sounds of people, kids, dogs, and roosters living their lives -- and visitors here to celebrate the holidays.

Thank you to all of you who wrote and offered your condolences for the death of my mother I shared about here at Thanksgiving time. Every time I think of her gentle passing at 95, I am grateful for this moment of life I am offered. If I am offered another moment or day tomorrow, my intention is to be grateful for each experience that comes.

I surprised myself last week when someone I was with in Puerto Vallarta reflected my patience when something she had to do took much longer than expected. My response was, "Every moment is the same." I had never heard myself say that before, and I've been noticing it since then. It seems to be true. Every moment is the same. We add our different emotional reactions and stories to those moments and think some are better than others, and others more irritating. Do we change the moments into something they are not? Or are we changing ourselves into something we are not?

Something about my mother's passing shifted me into this gratitude for each moment, and seeing so clearly that I have a choice about the stories I tell about each of those moments. I'm telling good stories. If my happiness is my choice, then I'm choosing gratitude, love, and acceptance in this moment. This is actually the only moment I have. I'm not going to make up stories that deny the truth of who and what I am, or cause me to suffer.

Tonight is the winter solstice. The light is returning to the north. I would like to invite you to use that light to shine brightly into the dark places within yourself, those places where you've pushed the divine truth of who you are with stories about your moments that cause emotional reactions of fear, hurt, jealously, envy, anger, blame, or judgement. Let's bring the light of truth back into our awareness, our actions, and our relationships -- and free ourselves from those lies.

The Truth? I would suggest a new story that says we are perfect expressions of the divine force of Life that created us. No more, no less. We are whole and complete. We are created by the light, as Life, exactly like every other living being and object in this universe. This universe is one perfect whole and we are perfect parts of it. No more lies!

Perhaps we can use this night and the days to come to reaffirm for ourselves the truth of our divine wholeness. Let's find within ourselves the faith and forgiveness that allows us to surrender to life itself, with gratitude for each precious moment of Life we are granted. Let's know ourselves as the light as it returns to give us Life.

This day I live in gratitude, and in gratitude there is only love.

Allan

allanh@sonic.net -- Or (707) 206-7623 (rings through to Chacala from northern California toll free.)

________________________________________________

I'm so grateful to be able to share with you here. My life and work and Joydancer and TACO (my online Toltec spiritual and networking community) are all dedicated to helping us learn and remember the truth of our oneness as the Divine essence that creates and animates this universe... and each part of it in each moment. Including you and me!

I am available by phone, Skype, and e-mail if you would like support for your life journey. I look forward to hearing from you.

Phone: (707) 528-1271
Skype: (707) 206-7623
Email: allanh@sonic.net

Details about consultations and apprenticeship are here.

Sign up for my newsletter here!

Some Thoughts About Gratitude and Thanks Giving

2011-11-23T16:53:00.000-08:00

"Some Thoughts About Gratitude and Thanks Giving"

Happy Thanksgiving, a time of gratitude. It is always magical and mysterious for me how life can combine different experiences, emotions, and outcomes to offer us the opportunity to grow and become stronger in our love and acceptance of What IS.

A case in point: I am in Southern California at the home my parents built and I grew up in. My mother died of old age (95) comfortably here in her bed on Sunday. My brother is here. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a big family day for many. This family is reduced to two.

The potential for emotional reactions and suffering is great in these situations. I accept them as sweet reminders of the value of living our lives fully as they unfold, and letting go of our silly ideas that we can predicts or control the outcomes.

In that surrender, I find great peace. In that peace I find love. In that love I find the perfection of the Divine. In the Divine I find the Oneness of life. In that experience of Oneness I am back once again to great peace.

This day I live in gratitude, for the life of my parents, and the life they gave me. I am grateful for Life. I hope that no matter what your situation or experience you will find a way to your gratitude, giving thanks for Life and all it offers you. Let's open our hearts and receive the multitude of gifts, without resistance or fear.

In gratitude there is only love.

Happy Thanks Giving,

no matter where in the world this finds you!

Allan

allanh@sonic.net -- Or (707) 528-1271

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I am available by phone, Skype, and e-mail if you would like support for your life journey. I look forward to hearing from you.

Details about consultations and apprenticeship are here.

The Coolest Hat

2011-11-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

"The Coolest Hat"

[EDITOR'S NOTE: This hat story is taken from an e-mail conversation between members of Allan Hardman's online community "TACO" who participated in his October journey to the pyramids at Teotihuacán, Mexico, and the extension to Tepoztlán. The group jokes that nobody is allowed to have a cooler hat than Allan.]

"Can someone tell us the complete story of the coolest hat?"

Allan: "Hello all....

I guess if no one else will tell the story, it must be up to me. We were hiking down from the pyramid of Tepozteco in Tepoztlán, and at one of the rest stops I left my hat behind. I didn't miss it until we stopped at a little stall near the bottom of the trail where they were making the quesadillas we had fallen in love with at the market place the day before. Four of us sat down and ordered and enjoyed our treats immensely (corn fungus, grasshoppers, farmer's cheese, and squash blossoms, cactus leaf, and more -- yummmm.) Perhaps someone has photos to share of the adventure. Ah yes, here they are!

Allan wearing "The Coolest Hat"

The bottom of the trail to the Pyramid of Tepozteco

Our Favorite Quesadillas

Corn Fungus, Grasshoppers, Farmer's Cheese, Squash Blossoms, Cactus Leaf & more!

I surrendered my hat to the Angel of Death (scroll down to watch a video about the Angel of Death if you are unfamiliar with the Angel in Toltec mythology) shortly after I realized it was missing, because I've heard that part of the lecture many times (from myself, of course), and have come to believe it. The Angel had taken back the hat she loaned me many years ago -- the Coolest Hat in Teotihuacán and Peru. It was okay.

However, while we were sitting eating, I was casually watching to see if anyone coming down the trail past us was wearing it, just in case the Angel was just testing or kidding me, or wanted to return it for some reason. I was more concerned with the eagle feather on the hat that a shaman in Peru had given me. There was a minor attachment there, partly, as I write this I realize, because I believed it was a sacred duty to use and protect that feather.

About the time we were finishing up our quesadillas I glanced over at a family that had been stopped by a vendor on the other side of the trail and were looking at her wares. As I looked again, I saw my eagle feather dangling below the arm of one of the women.

I went over and bowed in gratitude to her, and told her it was "my" hat and thanked her for finding it (Creative Assumption). She said her son had actually found it -- so I offered it to him. He smiled and declined, and so once again the Coolest Hat was mine, along with the eagle feather and Peruvian hat band.

We finished our meal and returned to the hotel.

And that's my story of The Coolest Hat and The Angel of Death."

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To learn more about the Toltec concept of The Angel of Death, watch this video of Allan teaching about the Angel of Death in Teotihuacán, Mexico:

http://youtu.be/8ZEUDnpfcDI

Survival Strategies Become Gifts

2011-10-26T16:14:00.000-07:00

"Survival Strategies Become Gifts"

The Toltec master guides his apprentices to recognize how resourceful they were as children. They survived childhoods that were perhaps neglectful, hurtful, humiliating, or even violent. The strategies they adopted and the masks they learned to wear were the clever adaptations of children under stress. No one was standing by when the children left home to remind them they would not need those strategies in their adult world -- so they took their strategies with them.

The strategies are held in place by fear -- the fear of being discovered as inadequate, not enough, defective, and unworthy of love. The fear gradually diminishes as the spiritual warrior (within) consistently demonstrates the message of unconditional love and acceptance to the victim child (within). When you have less fear of being seen and more love for your perfection, the strategies will not be held so tightly, and your gifts can emerge.

Many childhood survival strategies have adult gifts hidden in them. For the pleaser to give freely, without expectation of appreciation or reciprocation, is a gift to all. The rebel is a valuable resource when a person needs to deny the social pressures of parents or peers. The clown can be wonderfully entertaining when the fun is offered as a gift of love, and not to avoid being seen.

The world needs mystics and teachers, dreamers and thinkers, perfectionists and procrastinators, lawyers, lovers, and romantics. When the lie of "not enough" is broken, and these gifts are offered from open, loving hearts, they nourish the souls of both givers and receivers.

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~ The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, by Allan Hardman

To own a copy of this book, visit this page of the Joydancer Store:
http://store.joydancer.com/products/the-everything-toltec-wisdom-book

The Origin of the Inner Judge

2011-10-20T08:28:00.000-07:00

"The Origin of the Inner Judge"

When we're little, there are two parts of us. There's a masculine part and a feminine part. We could say just in general that the feminine part is the feelings, the intuition, and the emotional body. The masculine is more the connected, sun/spirit, logic part of being. (That's not meant to be a description of women and men but just two ways of taking us apart and looking at parts of us.)

One of the aspects of the masculine is "protector." If we think about the old days, way, way back, people lived in caves and there was a door at the cave. The man, undoubtedly "the masculine," was the one at the door of the cave with a club, protecting, going into the world, getting food, and bringing it back to the feminine who was at the fire with the food and the kids. In that model, which probably still exists in our DNA, "holding a container" is an important part of that masculine aspect. In working with couples I've often found women, deep down inside saying, "I wish you could hold a safe space for me and not judge me." When he doesn't do that he's in the cave attacking her when he's supposed to be at the door of the cave protecting her.

What happened to that little protector masculine when we were little?

The one we've been calling the Inner Child is really the feminine side of the child - the feelings, the emotions, the part that gets hurt. The masculine side of the child, when we're little, shouldn't have to protect. It's the parents' job to protect the child. Imagine being born into a family where the parents say, or the dad says as the masculine, "I'm so delighted and excited that you're here, and I'm here to provide a container - a safe container - to find out what magic God sent you to do in our lives. I'm going to hold a safe physical space, a safe psychological space, for you to become who you came here to be and we are just delighted to be the stewards of that, and we're excited to find out what that is." Imagine who you would be if that had been the welcome you'd gotten.

The feminine side - the feeling side - would grow up knowing that she was safe and that she could express her feelings without having them abused or made wrong. The masculine side would have no job. The protector part of the masculine in a boy or girl could simply coast along and mature in the container provided by the parents, and in the process learn what it means to be protected, and learn the job of the protector from that experience.

An apprentice told me about a girlfriend of his when he was a young man. She was from Sweden, and her parents were very liberal about what she did, but they liked her to do it at home. So the young lovers spent a lot of time at her home. Her parents would go to bed early. If Dad needed to get up and go into the kitchen, he'd make his presence known, and my apprentice knew that if he did anything that freaked his girlfriend out or upset her and she made the slightest noise about it, Dad would be right through that door and my apprentice would be in trouble. She knew she was safe, she knew she was protected, and that's how most of us didn't grow up.

In that model, the little protector masculine can grow up just learning what it's like so when, for example, a female human with that experience goes into the world or maybe she's sitting on the couch, and a new guy comes to the door and Dad opens the door - the container - and looks the guy over - tattoos, cigarette hanging out of his mouth - says, "Nope!" and slams the door shut. But say he gives the guy a chance and lets him in, and goes into the other room and closes the door. If the guy reaches over and puts his hand on her leg and it's not comfortable, she has full permission because of that container she grew up in, to go, "Aaaah, I don't like that. Get your hand off me."

So by the time she's in a bar at 25 and some guy comes over and touches her inappropriately, there's no question about her response. The masculine is right there. The feminine says, "I didn't like that" to the masculine and the masculine says, "That's not right," to the guy.

When, however, the masculine side tries to protect us when we're four, and says, "Stop it, I hate you, you're mean! I'm not going to my room! It's not fair!" That's the masculine trying to protect the feminine side whose feelings are hurt by the outside judge. And what happens to a 4 year old child - could be a boy or a girl - when they say, "I hate you, you're mean, leave me alone, I'm not gonna do what you say?"

Dad says, "Dont' you talk to me like that! Don't you ever think of doing that again!" or maybe we got punished, or whatever the family dream called for to stop that kind of talk.

I've had people tell me, "Oh, when I was four and my dad was beating up my mom I jumped on his back and tried to pull him off and Dad threw me against the wall, and said, "Don't you ever interfere again, this is not your business."

What's the message for the protector? The message is, "I can't protect." "I can't protect her feelings." But he still wants to be a protector, so what he does is instead of looking at the outside world to protect, he turns around to the inner world, and tells the feminine to shut up.

That is the origin of the inner judge. The wounded masculine side, unable to protect outwardly, turns inside to protect by saying, "shut up, don't cry, don't do that, don't ask for that, don't need that, don't take the last cookie, you know they don't like that, you better do what you're told, why are you blowing this? You should have thought of that, you shouldn't have broken that, you shouldn't have spilled that, I can't believe you don't pay attention." It's a preemptive strike inside to avoid being punished and judged from the outside. That's how the masculine protective part tries to protect us when we're little from Them.

That voice stays with us as we grow, and becomes the inner judge when the outer judges are gone. It then projects the judgments out onto everybody on the outside world saying, "They don't like you" or "They're not going to like you if you keep doing that so you'd better stop doing that." This was for me the biggest "ah-hah" part of the puzzle. The answer to, "How do we get rid of the judge?" is, we don't get rid of it. We heal it!

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This article was transcribed from a talk I gave to a group that was in hypnotherapy training at The Alchemy Institute in Santa Rosa, CA. They were learning about all the characters in our inner world, and the Inner Judge is one that we are all familiar with. If you'd like to heal YOUR judge, we have some great resources to do just that in my Online Toltec Community.

You can also get in touch with me. I offer counseling via phone, Skype, or in person. (707) 528-1271

allanh@sonic.net

IN Love,

Allan

My Chacala Nightmare

2011-10-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

"My Chacala Nightmare"

I awoke trembling from a terrible dream this morning. I was dreaming I returned to my winter home in Chacala (Nayarit, Mexico) and it was totally modernized.

It was awful!!

The streets were all paved, the restaurants had hardwood floors and redwood decks over the beach. There were SUV's everywhere, waiting to park to get their lattes, and T-shirts for sale with stuff written on them about getting drunk and going fishing. There was elevator music piped into every building and into the streets. Talk about an awful dream!!

The reason I was dreaming about Chacala is that when I return from Teotihuacán and our extension to Tepoztlán, I'll be organizing my business and home and preparing to drive to Chacala in early November -- a four day marathon from northern California.

I was very relieved to wake up and realize I was only dreaming about the redwood decks and elevator music, but also know "progress" is marching north from Puerto Vallarta toward Chacala, and the inevitable will happen -- we just don't know when. The coast of the state of Nayarit has been named, "The Riviera Nayarit" and is a new promoted tourist destination. This is one of the last unspoiled beach towns like this, easy to get to (via Puerto Vallarta) from most of the US and world, and yet like a forgotten paradise. It won't last forever.

So, please keep this a secret: Chacala is a lovely little fishing village of a few hundred Mexican families, and some very smart and low-key tourists and winter residents like myself. The beach is lined with thatched restaurants on the sand serving fresh seafood and frosty cold ones, and the sunsets are spectacular. There is no parasailing, no expensive pirate boat ride -- just the peace and quiet of a beautiful half mile of beach, the semi-tropical jungle, and some whales fooling around out there, and sweet people to meet and share with.

Like I said, please keep this a secret! When I return from Teotihuacán I'll be sharing more about Chacala, and inviting you to visit on vacation, experience the power of a personal intensive with me there at my "House of the Eagles," or join me for my Valentine's week retreat on Love, Romance, and Relationship.

In the meantime, I wish you a wonderful fall -- and remind you to start thinking about what you are going to do this winter to get away from the cold and relax... I know where I'll be all winter: Chacala, Nayarit, Mexico!! Join me!

PS: This coastal tourist part of Mexico is very safe, so don't believe everything you read or see on the news. In fact, Puerto Vallarta has been rated one of the five safest cities in the world. It is a big country, and what happens in one part doesn't happen everywhere!

Much love!!

Allan

allanh@sonic.net -- Or (707) 528-1271

____________________________________________________

I'm so grateful to be able to share with you here. My life and work and Joydancer and TACO (my online Toltec spiritual networking community) are all dedicated to helping us learn and remember the truth of our oneness as the Divine essence that creates and animates this universe... and each part of it in each moment. Including you and me!

I am available by phone, Skype, and e-mail if you would like support for your life journey. I look forward to hearing from you.

Details about consultations and apprenticeship are here.

The Angel of Death/ The Angel of Life

2011-09-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

"The Angel of Death/

The Angel of Life"

Three times a week, I meet in a chat room with members of my Toltec Apprentice Community Online ("TACO") to teach, share, play, grow, and ponder. Recently a member asked a question that led to a discussion of "The Angel of Death," a powerful guide on the Toltec path to personal freedom.

Here is a brief excerpt edited from that chat (names changed, etc.):

TACOMember1: Allan I have a question. I am not sure, but I would like to live like my death is near. I would like to keep that view, or vision in me. What to do?

TACOAllan: It's a powerful idea. Surrender your attachments to being alive. Surrender your attachments to all of your material possessions--they belong to the Angel of Death, not you. She will take them when she wants them back, including your body and life.

TACOAllan: When you surrender your attachments you release your fear. When you release your fear, your mind isn't zooming off into the past or future, and can be in the present. The only place Life really exists is in the present. When you surrender to the Angel of Death and enter each present moment with gratitude, she becomes the Angel of Life, the best guide to a life well-lived on the Toltec Path and beyond.

TACOMember2: How do you release the fear?

TACOAllan: The fear comes from attachments, which come from the illusion you can control the outcome. The need to control gives rise to the fear you will fail. So you have to try harder, and get more attached to the outcome -- which creates more fear you will fail.

TACOMember3: In other words we are releasing control that we never had in the first place...

TACOAllan: You've got it, TACOMember3.

TACOMember4: How do you let go of attachments?

TACOAllan: You let go of attachments by realizing that you cannot control much of anything in your life. Look back at your life, study it, and you will find that when you got into relationships and then they ended, when you bought a car and it broke down and you replaced it, when your lovely young skin gets wrinkled -- you weren't really orchestrating any of it. The Angel of Death owns all those things. She is in charge, she takes them back when she wants to.

TACOAllan: So surrender to reality, let go of the illusion of control, embrace the Angel of Death with deep gratitude for everything she loans you. When you do, you will wake up in the present moment -- in the arms of the Angel of Life! She is your guide to the joy, celebration, and wonder of each evolving moment of Life. And you are Free.

If you would like to be part of this online Toltec Community and participate in these chats ($1 for the first month) go here to learn more.

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Each year at Teotihuacán, participants face the Angel of Death, and are invited to surrender the illusion of control in their lives. I invite you to join us this year, September 29-October 4, and make this powerful guide your guide to LIFE. Watch the ceremony in this video:

Allan Hardman teaches about "The Angel of Death" in Teotihuacán, Mexico

Life is happening right now.

Make the Angel of Death/ Angel of Life your guide to this present moment!

I enjoy your feedback.

Allan

allanh@sonic.net -- Or (707) 528-1271

The Storyteller as a Terrorist in Our Minds

2011-09-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

"The Storyteller as a Terrorist in Our Minds"

(Written after 9/11/2001)

Every human's mind has a Storyteller... a small being who sits in the mind and tells stories to the human. That Storyteller is not there when the human is born. As soon as the new human is able to understand stories-- in tones of voice, facial expressions, and later with words -- the Storytellers living around that new human put the seeds of their stories into the mind of the new human. And they grow there, and become strong, and bear much fruit.

You were once a new human. When you popped into this world, the Storytellers knew it was their job to teach you their stories. Many of those stories were based on fear... fear that you will be rejected if you are not good enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, not beautiful enough, not handsome enough, not thin enough, just Not Enough. The Storytellers taught you that you had to be perfect in order to be accepted. The Storytellers taught you that nobody is perfect. Only God is perfect. They taught you that you could never be God, and yet you had to be perfect.

The Storyteller's stories were often confusing, contradictory -- yet as a new human, you had no choice but to accept them as true. A fish living in water has no way of knowing air. A new human, living in that ocean of stories, has no way to know anything beyond those stories.

The nature of stories is that they are only true for the Storyteller who owns them. They are not true for anyone else. There cannot be a True story, or a Right story, or everyone would agree on everything. Even if everyone, everywhere, did agree, it would still be a story. It would be a description of beliefs and agreements that were once learned and held in the mind. Only that, nothing more.

The recent events of terrorism in our country present us with a story from other Storytellers that is, in the context of our story, incomprehensible. The terrorists' Storytellers say that their goal is to create terror in us, to create terror in our lives, to teach us that we will never be safe again. Even the news media says America will never be the same -- they also teach us the terrorists' new story: "We will now live in fear and not be safe."

The images of planes hitting buildings are now implanted in our minds, and the Storyteller tells stories about them over and over and over. The media compounds our fear, telling us stories of Anthrax and poisoning water supplies.

Every time the Storyteller tells a story about fear, every time your storyteller reads or listens to or watches a story about fear, it creates fear in the human mind. It creates terror in the human mind. Every time your Storyteller tells you a story that creates fear and terror in your mind, your Storyteller has become a terrorist. Every time you are the terrorist, every time you allow your Storyteller to tell you a story that creates fear, the foreign terrorists have succeeded.

Of course there are terrorists in the world, because there is a terrorist in your mind: your Storyteller. Now your Storyteller has learned new stories with which to terrorize you even more than it used to. It used to terrorize you by telling you stories that said that you would not be loved unless you made more money or were slimmer or younger or had fewer wrinkles. But now your Storyteller is learning new stories about violent acts that you cannot predict or control, and you are probably feeling more fear.

It seems to me that the way to end terrorism is to end terrorism in our minds, to quit believing the stories we tell ourselves that create fear and terror in our own minds. The fear that we feel is real, but the stories that we tell ourselves the create the fear are simply stories. You have a choice about what stories you allow your Storyteller to tell you. You have a choice about what stories to believe.

What stories are you choosing to believe? Are they stories that create fear and terror in your mind and body? Or are they stories that create love, peace and harmony inside of you? You can choose. Maybe we can't eliminate terrorism in the world, maybe we can't find all the right people to kill so we can feel safe again. But perhaps we can, and do, have a choice not to be our own terrorists.

Perhaps, when we are no longer terrorizing ourselves-- whether in fear about how much we weigh or in fear from imagining a story of an agonizing death caused by some foreign agent -- we can live in peace within ourselves. If we all live in peace with ourselves, surely we will live in peace with each other.

It's worth a try!

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I'm so grateful to be able to share with you here. My life and work and Joydancer and TACO (my online spiritual and networking community) are all dedicated to helping us learn and remember the truth of our oneness as the Divine essence that creates and animates this universe... and each part of it in each moment. Including you and me!

I am available by phone, Skype, and e-mail if you would like support for your life journey. I look forward to hearing from you.

Details about consultations and apprenticeship are here.

The Myth of Multi-Tasking

2011-08-31T07:06:00.000-07:00

I read the results of a big survey, asking people about how they multi-task, and why they do it. As you might guess, the main reason people said they do more than one thing at the same time is because of the pressures of time-- there is SO much to do, and SO little time! They spoke of "time speeding up" and life "flying by." I confess I have used that language in the past myself, although I am not sure what it means.

Some of the things the people said they did to multi-task were a bit scary: They read the paper, watched a DVD, ate breakfast, applied make-up, and/or changed their baby's diapers while they were driving. Other choices were a bit more benign, such as always reading and watching TV while they were eating, or listening to instructional audios while walking in nature.

If time is speeding up, and we have more to do than ever before, it seems to make sense to double up and try to do more things in less time. We drive faster, talk faster, eat faster, and sleep less. And we multi-task. Maybe.

I would like to suggest that the idea of multi-tasking is a myth, and is the antithesis of enjoying a well-lived life. Have you ever actually tried to direct your attention to two or more places at once? It is impossible. "You can only serve one master." Your attention can only be directed to one person, event, object, or task at a time. In so-called multi-tasking, what you are doing is directing your attention back and forth from one place to another, sometimes so rapidly that you are not aware there is a disconnect in the process.

Let's say you are a mother, and you are out for a walk. You are getting exercise plus perhaps pushing your baby in a stroller, and talking on your cell phone. You are not doing three things at once; you are moving your attention back and forth between each of the three things very rapidly. Your attention is actually being fragmented by the experience.

An American swami used to tell his students: "If you are going to eat, eat. If you are going to read, read. But don't eat and read!" One day a group of students found him sitting eating and reading. They said, "But Swami, you told us to eat or read!" He looked up from his breakfast and said: "If you are going to eat and read, eat and read!"

Most of us do not have that ability, and perhaps the Swami didn't either. Next time you think you are doing two or more things at once, stop and check. Are you actually doing two or three things back and forth, back and forth, back and forth? And if that is the true nature of multi-tasking, where is your attention NOT? I would suggest that your attention is not in the moment, in the Now of the Eternal Present.

I would also like to suggest that a life well lived is a life lived in constant communion with the Present Moment. the only way to live that life is to train your attention to be focused on the feelings, sensations, and surroundings or your human body in the moment. How does the air feel? How does your relationship with that baby feel? What does your body feel like, walking? Do you see the clouds, and the hundreds of green colors in those trees? Are you aware of the phase of the moon tonight? Does the intense awe of creation wash through your feeling body with such intensity you can hardly contain it? That is the joy of Life. That is Dancing in Joy With Life. The Joydancer.

Perhaps time is not speeding up. Perhaps it is us, speeding through life, running to reach some elusive goal of completion and success. We have to get it all done, we have to do more, be more, better, faster, more, more, more. There is no end to that race, and when you get tired of running it, you may discover you missed the scenery, awe, and juice of Life along the way. I encourage you to not let that happen.

Life is happening right now. Where is your attention?

I enjoy your feedback.

Allan

allanh@sonic.net -- Or (707) 528-1271

Sign up for my "Joydancer Weekly Word and News" newsletter, and receive inspirational articles in your inbox -- http://joydancer.com/Newsletter
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I'm so grateful to be able to share with you here. My life and work and Joydancer and TACO (my online Toltec spiritual and networking community) are all dedicated to helping us learn and remember the truth of our oneness as the Divine essence that creates and animates this universe... and each part of it in each moment. Including me and you!

I am available by phone, Skype, and e-mail if you would like support for your life journey. I look forward to hearing from you.

Details about consultations and apprenticeship are here:
http://joydancer.com/study_wallan/index.html

What is a Despacho?

2011-08-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

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Thanks for your questions and comments! Please keep them coming. Many people who read my newsletter about our Celebration of Life Garden Party on August 20 wrote and asked, "What is a despacho?" I thought it would be fun to answer that here.

Creating a despacho is one of the most potent experiences I and other people get to have. Every August at our Summer Celebration of Life weekend here in northern California, Francis Rico and I, and the group, create the despacho as the grand finale of the weekend. This year, for the Garden Party, it will be on Saturday afternoon (August 20).

Francis and I learned to create despachos from the shamans in Peru, separately and independently, and love to bring that energy to our groups. In Peru and the Andes, participants use their breath to put intentions into three coca leaves, which are then placed in the despacho. In our ceremonies each participant uses three petals from a red rose.

When the building of the despacho is complete, it and the intentions are "dispatched" into Spirit, often by burning the bundle.

Rather than try to describe with words the look and experience of the despacho, here is a photo from Peru, and a wonderful video of one of our Summer Celebration despachos. James Nihan, a singer/song writer and Toltec colleague from Tennessee wrote the song in the video, "Three Petals," about this ceremony. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Shamans in Peru creating a despacho

The Joydancer Summer Celebration of Life, and Despacho ceremony

Join us at the Joydancer Summer Celebration of Life

Garden Party, Santa Rosa, CA

Saturday, August 20, 2011

You can read more and RSVP here.

Potluck • BBQ • Sunshine • Friends and Family • Despacho ceremony of celebration and gratitude (4 pm) with Francis Rico • Homemade music (you) • Sharing love and wisdom in the Joydancer Toltec tradition on the garden lawn.

There is no charge for this event. We are accepting donations to cover some expenses.

RSVP

lynn@joydancer.com

707•528•1271

Everyone is invited -- except dogs and cats. Space will be limited, so make sure to RSVP for directions by Friday, August 19.

Honoring the Deepest Truth of You

2011-08-15T07:55:00.000-07:00

In the old dream, feelings and emotions are problems to be solved, or embarrassing intrusions into daily life. In children, feelings are repressed, punished, or shamed, and in adults the habit of denial continues. How many men have experienced emotions in a movie theater, and when questioned by a surprised or pleased woman, blamed their tears on the bad air or their (occasional) allergy to popcorn?

The spiritual warrior, alive in the new dream, recognizes and honors feelings as the truth of the moment. The warrior is no longer ashamed of what he feels. He honors his feelings the same way he loves a small child who comes running to him hurt, angry, afraid, or overflowing with joy. He honors and respects the feelings of everyone he relates to, whether a child, a mate, a friend, or a stranger.

~ An excerpt from The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, by Allan Hardman

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It is my passion in life to help you accept every part of yourself so that you can live a truly happy life. We will do this work of accepting and falling into love with ourselves in Teotihuacán, Mexico - September 29 - October 4, 2001. Details here: http://joydancer.com/events/teotihuacanAndtep.html#teo

If you like what you read, you can:

1. Sign up for my newsletter, the Joydancer Weekly Word and News:

http://joydancer.com/Newsletter

2. Get your copy of The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book in the Joydancer Store:

http://store.joydancer.com/products/the-everything-toltec-wisdom-book

3. Join my Toltec Community Online and be supported by a loving community of people learning how to become free of childhood domestication and claim their power as happy and free adults.

http://tolteconline.com

4. Get in touch with me! I offer counseling via phone, Skype, or in person. Call or write for a free 30-minute phone consultation. (707) 528-1271. allanh@sonic.net

IN Love,

Allan

Every Day is Independence Day

2011-07-05T07:49:00.000-07:00

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This 4th of July weekend, we celebrated the beginning of the independence of the United States of America... along with some bombs bursting in air, and the flag is still there. In much of the modern USA, this weekend was a time to take the boat up to the lake, drink a bunch of beer, get really sunburned, and watch some big fireworks. Now, I'm not saying that isn't a good idea... however....

I'm thinking we could also use this time to remember our own personal independence. My life and work are devoted to Personal Freedom, which I would define like this: Our independence from the social conditioning, childhood programming, and the beliefs and agreements that control much of our lives.

The Big Enforcer of the rules we agreed to long ago ("don't take the last cookie, don't be selfish, be polite, other's people's needs are more important than yours, don't hurt people's feelings, if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all, etc etc etc") is the Inner Judge.

Do you know that character in your mind? He's the one who reminds us to be good, get it right, say the right thing, wear the right outfit, make sure we don't blow it, and generally keeps us in fear of what other people think of us. He believes we have to meet other people's expectations and needs so they will like us, make us happy, love us, not abandon us, and generally make us safe. We learned it all when we were little.

The Inner Judge creates fear in us so we will stay small. He believes the bigger we get the bigger target we are for judgment and rejection. The Judge thinks small is safer. Here is an illustration of the Inner Judge rom TACO, my Online Toltec Community at www.ToltecOnline.com. He has the book of rules for your life, the angelic standard you are supposed to meet, and he is here to tell you where you are failing!

"Hey, I'm talking to YOU!" ©

The Inner Judge is talking to your Wounded Child within, telling him or her what must be done to be acceptable and accepted; to be worthy of the valuable commodity of Love. That precious little being we once were is broken hearted, crying in hurt and cringing in fear, believing all the lies the Judge is telling. Here is the Wounded Victim Child from TACO.

The Child Within is Very Hurt by the Judge ©

If you haven't done so, I invite you to explore TACO at ToltecOnline.com -- the community there is an international gathering of people like you, in search of meaning, peace, and unconditional love in their lives. AND finding it!! TACO is a teaching, learning, and networking website and spiritual community, dedicated to the declaration of our independence and becoming thriving adult Spiritual Warriors.

First month of TACO membership is $1.00 USD.

A TACO member from the Czech Republic writes:

Thanks to Allan for his teaching in TACO. The concept of the Judge and Victim Child on one side and the Toltec Spiritual Warrior on the other... is a most profound tool for me. It gives me hope. I see immense possibilities... how to understand myself, stop abusing myself, and get in charge of my life. JW. Prague.

If you feel stuck in your life, if your dreams are sitting on a shelf waiting for you, if your relationships stall out, if you are afraid of being truly intimate in your life, this dynamic between the Judge and Victim Child is probably the cause. Much of what I teach and do is dedicated to freeing human minds from the tyranny of the Inner Judge-- let's not wait!

So please join me in making every day Independence Day! And you don't have to have a ski boat, drink beer, or get sunburned-- simply say "Enough!" to the Inner Judge, and protect that Little Child Within from his lies and hurt. I call that protective and nurturing part of us The Spiritual Warrior, because he is in a battle with the Judge for the attention of the Child Within. It is a battle between fear and rejection... and love and acceptance. Go for it!

In addition to TACO, another resource for exploring this dynamic is my book, The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, available at Joydancer.com and in many bookstores (hurry, it's getting scarce!).

A book fan from England posted on Facebook:

I've consumed, contemplated, read, practiced a lot of what has been written and taught by don Miguel Ruiz and journeyed with some of his senior students, now teachers in their own right. It took me a while to pick up Allan's book, but once I did, it became a constant companion, read and referred back to... for solace... and challenge. RF, Ryton.

Other resources for support: If you live close enough to Sonoma County or Sacramento, California, join me for these upcoming lectures and workshops:

Sunday, July 10: My birthday, and Keynote talk at the Healing Arts Festival, Sacramento, CA, 1:00 pm. I'll be there all day.

Monday, July 11: "Here Come da Judge" -- two hours, 7:30 - 9:30 pm, Santa Rosa, CA. $25.

Thursday/Friday, July 28-29, two full days! "The Ultimate Therapy: Healing the Drama of the Inner Judge and Victim Child."

So let's make this and every day our Independence Day! Become the loving, accepting, nurturing, protecting, powerful inner Spiritual Warrior -- and say "enough" to the tyranny, abuse, and sabotage of the Inner Judge!

Declare Independence, light a fire (works)!

More on the subject at www.joydancer.com

And so it is.

Allan

A Judge for Every Occasion

2011-06-22T13:01:00.000-07:00

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Every family has its own dream, and all parents have unique standards they expect their children to meet. Often, even parents in a family disagree about the rules, and each enforces different judgments and punishments. They believe (from their domestication) that they need to make their children wrong and punish them for breaking the family rules--and thus make them good citizens of the world. Punishment is the basic standard for child rearing in the dream of the planet. This is not a conscious, deliberate or mean act by parents--they are fish in the water, knowing only the water, doing what they think is best.

The family also enforces the rules and expectations of all the groups, institutions, religions, occupations, social hierarchies, and political beliefs with which they identify themselves. It is vitally important to parents that everyone around them accept their children. It is even more important to many parents that they themselves are accepted as good parents by the judges around them.

When a child hears enough of those judgments, she learns to agree she is not good enough, smart enough, or careful enough the way she is. She knows she must get it right, or she will not be tolerated as a member of her family unit. To protect herself from being banished, she learns all the expectations of her family, and all the judgments that enforce them. She internalizes the voices into a recording that can play in her mind twenty-four hours a day, even when she is alone.

As one Toltec apprentice told his teacher, "I always make myself wrong for everything I do! I thought since my mother taught me that way, I should do it that way, too. I have a judge for every occasion!"

Many of the judgments were not spoken directly, nor were they necessarily abusive or overtly hurtful. If no one came when you called them to change your diaper or see a dead worm on the patio, you thought it was your fault. If your parent didn't put the newspaper down when you wanted to show them some school art, or any of the other small ways that even loving parents did not respond to your childhood needs, you were hurt. And the message you told yourself was, "I am not important enough (good enough, interesting enough, and so on) for them to want to pay attention to me and love me. I have to be better." That belief was quietly added to the litany of your inner judge.

Remember that everything the judge says is a lie. Listen with detachment and curiosity to these voices. They are not you, and they are not your fault. The voices and their beliefs were programmed into your mind by others. The Toltec Warrior does not take them personally, because he knows they are not personal.

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-An excerpt from The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, by Allan Hardman

It is my passion in life to help us break free from the tyranny of the inner judge so that we can be happy. If you like what you read here, you can:

1. Sign up for my newsletter, the Joydancer Weekly Word and News: http://joydancer.com/Newsletter

2. Get your copy of The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book in the Joydancer Store: http://store.joydancer.com/products/the-everything-toltec-wisdom-book

3. Join my Toltec Community Online and be supported by a loving community of people learning how to become free of childhood domestication and claim their power as happy and free adults. http://tolteconline.com

4. Get in touch with me! I offer counseling via phone, Skype, or in person. Call or write for a free 30-minute phone consultation. (707) 528-1271. allanh@sonic.net

IN Love,

Allan

Conscious Relationship: A Conversation with Allan Hardman

2011-06-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

All life is based on relationships, and the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. Most people have learned to believe lies denying their value and worth in the world. I am passionate about helping us all change how we "dream" ourselves - and learn to love and accept ourselves just as we are (and just as we are not!).

When we heal our relationship with ourselves the entire world we live in changes. Want to change your world? Let's do it!

Join me for a radio interview with Sarah McCroskey on HumanSpirit Radio, Friday, June 17 at 2:00 PM (Pacific Time). To register to listen and participate with questions, click here.

For more information about HumanSpirit Radio, click here.

To work with me personally to change your world, call (707) 528-1271. I offer personal coaching and counseling. To find out more about me and what I do, visit http://www.joydancer.com

Non-Judgment Day (The Un-Rapture)

2011-05-31T18:16:00.000-07:00

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Are you disappointed or relieved that the rapture didn't happen on May 21? Well, it is actually postponed, but here are some more thoughts on how to go to Heaven on Earth (the rapture for the rest of us)... and more.

(If you would like to read any of my previous newsletters, they are archived here.)

Now that May 21 has passed, and the Rapture has been postponed until October 21, life is good. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, I assure you, it really doesn't matter! However, I've been fascinated by the Rapture predictions, and learned so much reading about how people's faith is invested through emotions and not logic. When a major biblical prediction doesn't happen, people don't re-think their logic, they wait for some emotional experience to actually strengthen their faith. Very interesting.

I wonder how many of us have our faith invested in our ability to control the outcome of life, death, love, relationships, religions, parenting, and other things we believe we can control and manage...? If someone (like me) comes along and suggests that we have never controlled the outcome of one single thing in our lives... well, would you open your logic to listen, or let the emotional reaction to the idea close you to it?

Most humans live with a Judging voice in their minds that is always questioning them, criticizing them, second guessing them, and reminding them they aren't good enough the way they are. Being eternally judged sounds like Hell to me! And it is. Hell On Earth. Most humans are living in Hell On Earth, and billions of them are dreaming of going to some heaven, somewhere, some day.

All the gods created in the image of humans constantly judge us. Their rules are always about us being better than we are, doing more, behaving better, meeting some lofty standards, before we can be lifted up to a place of love and acceptance-- IF we meet the standards. It's a lot like bargaining for love in childhood, and a lot like Santa Claus: "Be good, get reward; be bad, get punished."

An apprentice in the chat room of our Online Toltec Community ($1) asked, "What's keeping me out of Heaven?" He was referring to Heaven on Earth offered by teachers throughout the ages. Here is what I answered:

What's keeping you out of heaven is you asking, "What's keeping me out of heaven?" Asking the question affirms your belief you should be different than you are, that you haven't achieved the goal yet. You scoff at the "heaven" of religions, and then invest your faith in some idea of spiritual perfection that will be rewarded when you reach it. So your attention is hooked on the question, which shows your faith is invested in controlling the outcome, and the doors to heaven are closed.

You will only be free when you have de-invested your faith in the illusion you can control the outcomes, and invest it in your trust of life itself. More on the subject in a future newsletter, and in my newsletter archives here.

Want to go to Heaven on Earth? Do your own rapture:

Definition of "RAPTURE:"

1 -- an expression or manifestation of ecstasy or passion
2 -- a state or experience of being carried away by overwhelming emotion
3 -- a mystical experience in which the spirit is exalted to a knowledge of divine things

Let the "overwhelming emotion" be a love of the divine AS YOU. Enter into a blissful romance with YOU. Be carried away by that love. Feel the ecstasy and passion of that romance. Enter a mystical experience with the knowledge of your beautiful perfection as a unique manifestation of the divine, right here and right now, perfect in every way. The divine/consciousness/god/love/life is not asking you to change or improve-- know you are perfect right here, right now. And you will, indeed, be transported to Heaven on Earth-- every moment you remember this truth of who you are!

Make today and every day,

Non-Judgment Day!!

Many blessings on us all this Memorial Day and always. No matter what your beliefs, may you have a wonderful day each and every day, happy in Heaven because you are choosing love over judgment, and celebrating the joy of the divine Life that animates you.

Be a JOYdancer, dancing in Joy with Life!

And so it is.

Allan

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Step into the Dream of Heaven on Earth right here in our Online Toltec Community. This is a place to study, learn, let go of the Hell in your Mind, and meet others on the same journey! I look forward to supporting you as you claim your freedom, and answering your questions in the chat room!

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The above article was one of Allan's "Joydancer Weekly Word and News" newsletters. If you would like to receive inspirational newsletters like this, sign up here!

The Wisdom of the Human Body

2011-05-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

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The human body is a walking, talking miracle. Most of what is happening in your body as you read this has nothing to do with your conscious mind. Your heart is sending blood and nutrients to the trillions of cells in your body, air is moving in and out of your lungs, your liver is regulating blood sugar, your wounds are being healed, you are reading and comprehending the symbols on this page, and countless other processes are being directed by your body itself.

If your conscious mind were in charge of the processes of your body, it would stop working in just a few moments. You would not be able to keep up with all the details. There is a life force present in your body that knows what it needs to do, and it does it well. It has matured your body from the first moment of conception, maturing through puberty, right up until this moment. You, as the awareness reading this, are here, able to do what you do, because of the body you created and maintain.

The Toltec Warrior develops a loving communication with his body, and listens to its wisdom. He respects his body, and is mindful of his body's needs for good-quality food, exercise, and rest-- and does his best to keep it free from toxic substances and thoughts. He listens to his body, and refrains from overriding its messages with medications or denial. The warrior loves, accepts, and respects his body, in recognition of the important partnership between himself as both Spirit and Matter.

Write and repeat an affirmation like this: "My body is a gift from Life. I express my gratitude to life by caring for this body the best way I know how. It is the instrument through which I enjoy the abundance of food, sunshine, air, love, and everything that I do. Thank you, Life."

~ An excerpt from The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, by Allan Hardman
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To purchase this book in the Joydancer Store, click here.

Discover how ancient and modern Toltec wisdom can change your life! Visit Joydancer's thriving spiritual community of men and women all over the world enjoying the Toltec path to personal freedom - http://ToltecOnline.com

A Note About Surrender

2011-05-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

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An apprentice wrote to me recently with the following:

"I lie in bed all the time, frustrated and angry because I am not changing. I know you say to "Surrender," but I have yet to figure out what this means."

My answer:

When I say, "surrender," I mean let go of trying to be any different than you are. The biggest obstacle to your changing is your desire (and Judge's insistence) to change. Nobody ever improved or was more loving to themselves because of being judged. And nobody ever will.

Your only hope is to accept yourself just as you are: laying in bed, discouraged, beaten, defeated, hopeless, not participating in life, venting, wishing for the bottom, and listening to your Judge telling you that you should have changed by now and get up and get going!

To surrender is to say, "Yup, I am living god's truth of this unique manifestation of God's love. I accept it as it is, I accept me as I am. I will no longer fight it, make it wrong, or complain to God that it isn't fair. I will stop being angry about it (unless that's how God needs me to be), I will be grateful for each moment of how God expresses itself through this bit of creation. And I'll lay right here in bed doing it, until God is done with that part of this story and gets me up."

To surrender is to acknowledge you -- human mind and body-- aren't actually in charge, or you would have a very different life than the one God is manifesting you as.

The battle is over, the fight is done. Wave the White Flag of Peace, and humbly and gratefully stay in bed until God's alarm rings.

At least you'll be happier while you're laying there.

Much Love.

Allan

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It is my passion in life to help people accept themselves just the way they are, and just the way they are not, so that they can live a happier life no matter what their circumstances. I want to help you fall in love with yourself, your life, and with this present moment. Get in touch - allanh@sonic.net or (707) 528-1271. http://joydancer.com

Blessings on Mother's Day

2011-05-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

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I heard someone complain at the Mother's Day card rack the other day, about how "these holidays are just trumped up by the card companies to make me spend my money on cards!" Well, could be true, I suppose, but there we were, choosing cards for our mothers.

I wanted to send a special card to my mother. I shared in a newsletter last month that my mother (95) was ailing and hospitalized-- I'm happy to say she is back in her home, well cared for, and actually beginning to like it. It is very important for me that she knows I love her and am grateful for my life. Sure, I can complain about the deficiencies and cluelessness of my childhood-- yup, been there, done that, lots of good therapy.

What my mother needs to know is she did a great job. I tell her wonderful stories about my client successes, my gardens, and friends... and tell her none of it would have been possible without her. True? Yes, in it's own way. She fed me for years... now I am feeding her. She is going to leave this life, possibly soon, believing she was a successful mother. It doesn't cost me anything.

I sent Mom pictures in her card-- of me teaching at a workshop, sitting in my garden, hugging apprentices, and posing in various places. She'll be able to take responsibility for whatever she values in those photos.

So, I'm grateful to whoever thought of Mother's Day and made cards... and helped me feel guilty all those years my rebel self didn't send them! Now, there is no resistance to sharing my love in whatever form I can.

So on this special day of the mother, let us gather together in honor of The Mother. Let us honor our own mothers, present or passed, with gratitude for the lives they gave us. Let us honor the mother in those among us who have been mothers, those who are yet to be mothers, and those who choose not to be mothers.

On this day let us honor the mother within each of us-- the spiritual feminine within that loves, accepts, and nurtures all parts of us exactly as we are.

Let us also use this time to remember our love and gratitude for our Mother Earth, from whom we are created and who loves and supports us with every breath, every bite, and every gasp of delight at the sight of a perfect spring rose.

At this time of the mother, let us be grateful for Life.

And so it is

Allan

I'm so grateful to be able to share with you here. My life and work at Joydancer and TACO (my online spiritual and networking community) are all dedicated to helping us learn and remember the truth of our oneness as the Divine essence that creates and animates this universe... and each part of it in each moment. Including me and you!

I am available by phone, Skype, and e-mail if you would like support for your life journey. I look forward to hearing from you.

Details about consultations and apprenticeship are here.

Allan Hardman

Joydancer.com

Santa Rosa, CA Office: 707-528-1271

allanh@sonic.net

The Warrior Becomes a Ghost ~ Dancing at the Edge of The Dream

2011-05-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

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"There is a pausing point on this journey when the new warrior realizes she is passing through a portal that leads her beyond the dream of the planet. She knows she is sacrificing her connection to everything that she knows and brings her comfort. By the time she reaches this point on her journey, the warrior is well aware of what she is about to do when she passes through the portal.

There is no way the warrior can know the full extent of her sacrifice until she makes it. She steps through the portal, leaves the dream of the planet... and become a ghost. She walks in the same physical world, but is now separate from it. It is a moment she has been working toward, looking forward to, and fearing. She is free to live her life to the fullest degree possible, but the warrior also knows she now lives in a different world from almost every other human. She dreams differently, and her life will never be the same. This is the sacrifice the Eagle Warrior makes, in order to receive her gift: the dream of heaven on earth."

~ An excerpt from The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, by Allan Hardman

Are you intrigued by this journey of the "new warrior?" This is the journey we undertake this October at the sacred pyramid complex of Teotihuacán, Mexico. Join us, break free of the world being dreamed into existence by most humans, and step into your own dream of Heaven on Earth!

For details about this journey, "Dancing at the Edge of The Dream, click here:

Taking Easter Within

2011-05-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

This was written for Easter Sunday, April 24, 2011.

Our story so far: On Palm Sunday we celebrated the arrival in our awareness of that Christ Consciousness that knows the truth of the perfection of each and every part of this universe-- including ourselves.

Good Friday, the day of the crucifixion and our movement to a higher state of consciousness, invited us to find that place of true forgiveness-- the one that says, "I know there is nothing to forgive, because we are all doing our best in a universe that is unfolding perfectly."

And now, three days after Jesus is crucified and laid in a tomb, he returns to his body and moves about his earthly world for forty days. This event is very important in the Christian tradition, and established the belief in Jesus as the true and powerful son of God. Without the resurrection, Jesus might have simply remained a respected teacher or prophet.

The tradition of resurrection and rebirth has been a human experience for many thousands of years-- and reflects the need to have faith in a story of death and rebirth. The name "Easter" even comes from the name of an early goddess of fertility, Eastre, who was celebrated at the spring equinox. Because of the spring orientation of these celebrations there has always been an emphasis on eggs, new chicks, rabbits, and other symbols of fertility.

(None of this seems fair to those living in the southern hemisphere where the seasons are reversed, but I will have to leave them to deal with that).

Perhaps we can use this time and this story to inform our own personal spiritual journey. The crucifixion is symbolic to us dying to an old way of being. In the tomb of our winter of sleep we begin our transformation, and when we have reached our new understanding we arise and are born into the spring of a new life. If our transformation is complete, we will claim our identity as the Christ Conscious, the Divinity that creates and animates our human experience. We will be re-born. We will have power over the dream of life and death.

The good news is we don't have to die, or even suffer, to be resurrected. Every moment we deny a lie or limitation in our minds, every time we choose love over fear, every step we take toward claiming the ultimate truth of who and what we are-- represents a rolling away of the stone of our imprisonment. We have the potential to awaken and return to the world knowing the Truth, and sharing it with those who can see.

"...the Father is in me, and I am in the Father."

At this Easter time, and always, may we each use the power of Life and the Christ Consciousness within to deny the limiting beliefs and fears that roll the stone of darkness against our tomb.

May the light shine with us into those dark moments and help resurrect us into the constant truth of who and what we are:

We are all the sons and daughters of Life, belonging here, gifts to the universe from the Life that brought us.

Let us rejoice and Dance in Joy and Gratitude with Life.

We are, after all, Joydancers! (.com)

Happy Easter

I hope you find lots of eggs.

IN love.

Taking Good Friday Within

2011-05-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

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This was written for Good Friday, April 22, 2011.

Last week I wrote about Palm Sunday and how we could understand some of the story of Jesus as metaphors for our relationship with Life. I suggested we could receive the Palm Sunday story as a metaphor for the Christ Consciousness (force of life) within us, and we could use it to ask ourselves, "How am I receiving and using the power of Life within me? Am I at war with my world, using my power to try to change and control the outside world to my liking? Or am I using Life to bring myself into harmony and loving acceptance with What Is?"

The story continues: This Friday before Easter is called Good Friday. In the story, it marks the day Jesus was "betrayed" by Judas in the garden and Jesus was condemned and crucified.

We should first note that the "Good" doesn't mean anyone thought it was good to crucify someone. Sometimes the day is called "Black Friday," or "Holy Friday." The word "Good" is a translation from a word that means "pious" or "holy." The day is celebrated in most Christian churches with solemn ceremonies of prayer and meditation.

Jesus was betrayed by Judas. Or, maybe not. There is good evidence that Judas was the closest to Jesus. He was the treasurer of the disciples, and had been with Jesus for his entire ministry. I believe that Jesus offered the task of fulfilling the prophesies to his most beloved apprentice, both of them knowing that Judas would be sacrificing himself among his peers and throughout history.

Inside many of us there are parts like Jesus and Judas. The Christ Consciousness (Life, Love, Perfection, Divinity) is "in this world but not of it." The Judas part must deny and betray that truth of our nature in order for us to fulfill our destiny as humans here. That consciousness must go to sleep and dream it's a human body/mind organism searching for connection with its own Divinity.

Jesus was charged with "crimes" he did not commit. Recognize that in your inner world? Or from your childhood? Our outer and inner judges keep making us wrong for who we are, what we do as who we are, and for not changing who we are to create different behaviors and outcomes. Strange, but true. Jesus didn't answer the charges, because he had deliberately created the entire scenario, knew where it was going, and needed all the players just as they were.

And then Jesus was crucified. The ultimate punishment. And from that place of human pain, humiliation, and physical suffering, he said what I believe is the most powerful teaching of the entire story:

"Father forgive them for they know not what they do."

What an amazing teaching! For me it says, "I know the world is unfolding exactly as it is. I am a part of this play, this drama, on this stage, and I accept my part and the parts of others. I am not a victim and these are not my perpetrators. We are all together here, and nobody is to blame." Wow. The Christ Consciousness within us knows this same truth. How can we embrace our own inner betrayers of our truth and honor this kind of forgiveness within...?

Can you see that you and everyone in your life is doing their best being them, and so forgive yourself and them because there is nothing to forgive? What a powerful teaching!

We can see the symbol of the Crucifixion as an initiation into a higher state of consciousness. We are invited to release our limited identification with our body/mind -- a sort of spiritual annihilation of self into the realization of our true nature. As the denser material of a candle yields to the purifying flame... we are reborn into our own divinity-- right here on planet earth!

It's a pretty good story. And we all can live it.

IN love.

Blessings on Palm Sunday

2011-05-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

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This was written on Palm Sunday, April 17, 2011.

Good morning, and blessed Palm Sunday to you.

Yesterday I asked some church going folks around me here at my Mom's what Palm Sunday meant, and the people I asked realized they really didn't know. So I did a bit of reading and thinking about it, and want to offer you this:

Palm Sunday represents the triumphal entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. Up until that time he had discouraged his disciples from talking about his work and miracles, but now he told them (after recently raising Lazarus from the dead) to go and proclaim his power. He told them where to find a donkey, and her colt who had never been ridden. They put their cloaks on the colt and he used that "virgin" animal to ride into the city.

Donkeys represent peace. Warriors who are conquering or celebrating conquests ride into a city on a decorated prancing horse. Jesus rode a donkey draped in humble cloaks. He came as a King, celebrated, not to conquer by force like earthly kinds, but by his love and grace demonstrating the truth of who we are as Spirit, Life, God, Love. His goal was to conquer hearts and minds, not nations.

Of course most everyone misunderstood Jesus' mission, still wanting him to be the powerful kind that would liberate them from the occupation and rule of the Romans at that time. When they saw he wasn't going to use his power to meet their earthly needs, they turned on him, and the result was the trial and ultimate punishment through crucifixion.

If we receive this story as a metaphor for the Christ energy (force of life) within us, we can use it to ask ourselves, "How am I receiving and using the power of Life within me? Am I at war with my world, using my power to try to change and control the outside world to my liking? Or am I using Life to bring myself into harmony and loving acceptance with What Is?"

Miguel Ruiz' Circle of Fire Prayer ends with: "I will respect all creation as a symbol of my love communion with the one who created me." For me this says that when I accept and actively love every person, event, institution, emotion, and thought that appears in my world I am in a loving communion with the Spirit of Life that has created and animates me and my world. The prayer ends, "To the eternal happiness of humanity." The goal is to be happy.

It is up to us to bring those qualities of Spirit (Christ Consciousness) into our own personal life -- love, acceptance, and gratitude for What IS.

I wish you a very special day today. And invite you to ask yourself, "How am I using this power to be the king in my own inner life? Am I charging in on the horse of war, or gently riding the donkey of peace?" As I write that line I hear church bells ringing in the distance.

God Bless Us One and All.

Thoughts on Leaving

2011-04-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about "leaving" tonight. I am packing to leave my beloved Chacala, this little beach village in Mexico where I enjoy my winters. I am leaving. Most of the people I know and relate to are leaving, too, or have already headed back north.

Leaving. We arrive, we stay, we go. I came here in November, and I stayed, and now I'm leaving. Now I get to return to my other paradise, in Santa Rosa, northern California.

My mother is 95. She arrived in life a long time ago, and yesterday she went to the hospital in southern California diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Her heart isn't really failing, it's just tired! She has done a lot. Baked a lot of cookies. Hosted lots of church socials. Raised two fine sons. Wife and mother. She arrived, she stayed, and I don't think she is leaving just yet. My brother is with her, and I'll be there soon.

Her emergency reminds me once again how fragile life is. Her life, my life, your life. Not all of us will get to 95. Our bodies are strong and loyal. We can abuse them, reject them, mistreat them-- and yet they keep showing up to get us through the day. I assume the better we treat our bodies the longer they will serve us. I'm a big fan of healthy eating, exercise, all that stuff. Then we get hit by a bus.

Someday, we will all be leaving. And we will leave the way we lived. If your life is lived afraid about losing stuff, then you will probably die afraid. If you live your life knowing that none of the stuff is really yours, that it's all on loan for a short time (including your life itself)... if you can surrender the illusion you control any of it (bus)... if you live in peace with the changes of life... then perhaps you can leave this world in peace also.

That's my goal: To live my life like I'm dying. To live full out, wide awake, present in my body, IN love and celebration and gratitude ...trusting that it's all perfect, trusting Life itself to do whatever it's going to do. Everyone I've worked with who was diagnosed with death has celebrated life. Okay, then, I'm diagnosing you: You are leaving! Like they say, there's no way to get out of this life alive.

And you can't take it with you. I'm sure it's true. All the stuff belongs to this earthly realm. I'm packing to leave Chacala. I have no expectation I can pack to leave Life. I am sad to leave Chacala, and I am leaving gracefully-- no resistance, no "not fair." It's just time to leave.

My mother is not quite leaving yet. It is getting to be time. I'll see her soon. I send my love to your mother, and all the mothers you are, have been, and will be. The Great Eternal Mother is always with us.

I've been thinking about leaving. I think a lot about Living! Let's LIVE! Every single minute. There is nothing to hold us back but our own silly old agreements. Throw them off like a fur coat on a hot day! Get naked, get crazy, and LIVE!!

Allan

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It's my passion in life to help you break the programming that limits you and live a life that is so fantastically alive and present that you never suffer again -- emotionally, mentally, or physically. Contact me now. (707) 528-1271 or write allan@joydancer.com

Sign up for my newsletter: http://joydancer.com/Newsletter

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T19:11:00.000-08:00

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I have written about the true meaning of love the last few weeks. The main focus of my sharing has been to remind us all that we came into this world AS love, AS life, AS the divinity that creates and animates this universe.

Love is our default state. Love and acceptance of what is. We came in that way, then people told us stories and lies and we forgot. They believed they were the source of love for us. They said we had to bargain for love, we had to be good and get it right, to earn this commodity of love, attention, safety, and more.

It wasn't true then and it isn't true now! If you are trying to earn love from someone, or making someone bargain for your love, perhaps today is the day to take a deep breath and stop. Perhaps today is the day to remember who and what you are: Pure Divine Love. And so is everyone else!

Perhaps today, Valentine's Day, the day of love and romance, is a good day to let go of the old dream of fear-based conditional love and dance a new dance-- the dance of acceptance... the dance of Life... dancing in love with itself... in all your relationships.

Let's dance together in joy with Life. We are, after all, Joydancers! (.com)

~ Allan

Make sure to sign up for my newsletter, if you haven't already: http://joydancer.com/Newsletter/

Want to read more about love, real love, love for "The New Relationship?" Go here:

The New Relationship ~ Five Agreements to Make Love Come True

You can order CD's of my Five Agreements here

A Question (and Answer) about Conscious Relationship

2011-02-07T11:41:00.000-08:00

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A reader of my "The New Relationship ~ Five Agreements to Make Love Come True," recently asked me, "If I'm in a place where I love and accept everyone equally, why would I choose one particular person to be in relationship with?"

A great question. It is our spiritual self that sees the absolute divine perfection in all of creation, including ourselves and our beloveds, and accepts it all exactly as it is. That recognition of the Divinity of all Creation is what offers us the ultimate happiness.

Our human self, however, as a unique expression of that divinity, will have preferences and likes and dislikes. Accepting ourselves means accepting those human truths about us.

So, two human selves may be especially attracted and feel juicy about each other, while still accepting and loving all of creation. From this place of awareness, their relationship will be based on the juicy connection AND their awareness and conscious agreements about the compatibility of their lifestyles and dreams. They will discuss their dreams of money, finances, spirituality, or religion, sex, diet, travel, leisure, geography, work, recreation, entertainment, and all the ways people live their daily lives. There could be lots of juice and no compatibility and that really won't work for very long.

I believe in order to have a "successful" romantic partnership we must be aware and awake and willing to risk the outcome, so we can make conscious agreements about the relationship. In the old dream fear ruled. In this new dream, love and acceptance rule.

Take your pick.

You can read a summary of The New Relationship ~ Five Agreements to Make Love Come True right here.

You can order CD's of the agreements here.

Sign up for my newsletter, The Joydancer Weekly Word here.

Love is our Nature, not a Commodity

2011-01-14T11:55:00.000-08:00

Love is a grand and wonderful thing. It has been exalted, suffered, and written and sung about since the beginning of time.

The meaning of Love and the expression of romantic relationship has evolved and grown with changing needs, religions, and economic conditions. It is a great challenge for individuals and cultures to change traditions and morals to keep pace with the evolution of the human dream. I can think of no area of our western society more in need of change than this, and at the same time more resistant to that change. There is probably no emotion more misunderstood, distorted, and confused than "Love."

From the experiences of childhood most of us agreed that others were the source of love, and that you had to bargain for that love. Love became a commodity that lived outside of us, we needed it to survive, and we had to be good and get it right in order to assure our share of the precious commodity.

I believe we came into this world through Love, as Love, being Love. We were the manifestation of Life itself. You came here knowing no fear, judgment, no conditions, an had no expectations. You simply WERE. In order to gain the acceptance of parents, teachers, playmates, and religious leaders, we learned to deny our truth and accept theirs. The first truth we had to deny was the truth that we were and ARE Love.

As we moved into adult "love" relationships, if we carry with us the agreement that love is a commodity outside of us that we have to bargain for, we will always live in fear of failing and losing the love we have captured. This is not fun (you may have noticed).

It is my hope, inspiration, and intent,

to always know my nature as love and life itself,

and share that love in all my relationships.

I do not bargain for love,

and I do not require others to bargain for my love.

What about you?

Allan

I adapted the above thoughts from my Five Agreements to Make Love Come True -- there is a lot more there to read. Changing these agreements will be a major focus of our week together in Chacala during my Valentine's Week Relationship Retreat. Please join me, and change your life!

If you like what you read here, make sure to subscribe to my newsletter.

Domestication: Downloading the Dream

2011-01-03T19:17:00.000-08:00

Who Were You When You Were Born?

You were born into this world as a "bundle of joy." Your mind was free of stories, and you were happy - without even knowing what happiness was. You had no opinions, no fears, no expectations, and no judgments. There was no distorting light in your channels of perception. You had no words yet for colors, sounds, objects, or Mom's bad hair day. You had no concept of good and bad or right and wrong.

You simply existed, in a sea of stimulations and events that you experienced directly, just as they were. Your mind had no experience with naming, categorizing, or separating any of this incoming light. You were simply present, in each moment, without self-awareness. You did not even know you had been given a name or gender identity.

You were actually like a little Toltec master or guru, present in each and every moment, living in the bliss of love and acceptance. If you could have talked and described your experience, spiritual seekers would have come from miles around to sit at your feet and learn from you.

In those first few months of your life, you lived in the bliss of the oneness that gurus teach and to which spiritual seekers aspire. Because you had not yet learned the fears and judgments of the adult world, your nature was openness and love. Your innocence was like that of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

~ An excerpt from The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, by Allan Hardman

Interested in what happened to all of us along the way, and how you can reclaim your innocence and joy? Learn about Domestication and Dreaming - read Allan's article, "The Perfect Dream."

A New Year's Blessing Prayer

2011-01-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

I am loving my winter in Chacala, Nayarit, Mexico. If you are in a cold place somewhere, I am going to send you some soft warm tropical air....hold on....close your eyes....hold out your heart....aah...there it is.

Take a moment and let it in...let it warm your heart and soul....and prepare you for the new year ahead. I encourage us all to open our hearts to ourselves (especially) and to each other as we make this transition into 2011. I've heard some folks here say: "New Year's Eve is no big deal, and I'll just go to bed early."

Well, fine, however, we can use any excuse to set new intentions and clean up our minds so we can live happier, more creative, and loving lives each day and each year.

I have a simple secret for setting intentions and changing beliefs: Take out the "can't, shouldn't, don't, never" and other black magic words that limit your creation. Example: "I can't find a job." Change your Word to "I find a job." Or, "I'll never find the perfect relationship." Try this, instead: "I'll find the perfect relationship." Or, a bit more creative: "I am the perfect relationship." Or, riffing, "I am in the perfect relationship with myself, one based on unconditional love and acceptance of my divine perfection." THAT oughta' do it.

Happy New LIFE!

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I'm really looking forward to my annual Valentine's Week Workshop on Love, Romance, and Relationship, February 10~14, 2011 (for couples and singles) here at my "House of the Eagles" in Chacala. Chacala is a wonderful and romantic setting for this five-day exploration into conscious relationship, and I hope you'll make plans to be here. You deserve an uplifting and life transforming vacation, don't you think? Click here for more details.

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"A New Year's Blessing Prayer ~ I Fling My Heart Open to Thee"

Divine Presence, I fling my heart open to thee.

Show me the way to your perfect Grace.

I dance with thee in this New Year.

My heart is open wide, and your love pours through me,

And I see your love in all that is.

I see your love in my Beloveds,

In the rain and sun and wind and heat and cold.

I see your love in all success and adversity,

I see your love in every aspect of your Creation.

I say YES to all that is, knowing it is all You.

In this New Year, may I let nothing obscure my vision of you,

And your Grace.

My eyes are open wide, and my heart is ripped open

In my desire to be possessed by you.

Take Me, Take Me, Take Me.

I have nothing to surrender, because all that I AM is You.

Divine Presence, I fling my heart open to thee.

Show me the way to your perfect Grace.

I dance with you in this New Year.

And so it is.

~Allan

Gratitude is a Way of Life

2010-12-02T12:37:00.000-08:00

This was written the day before Thanksgiving in anticipation of the Thanksgiving holiday.

Wow! I arrived in Chacala yesterday, and what a treat! I am so grateful for this special place, and for the part of me that took the action to create a home here. Who woulda' thought?

It has been bright, sunny, and warm all day. But, wait, before I go on and on about Chacala, here is what I've been thinking about this Thanksgiving time in the USA:

I am receiving some wonderful mails and newsletters this Thanksgiving time and day tomorrow. Thank you all for writing. I want to take the idea of giving thanks out a little farther... to the power of gratitude.

When we find our way to gratitude as a way of life, we are in LOVE, simply and easily. You cannot truly be grateful and in fear at the same time. When you're not afraid, you can live in your default state of love and gratitude. Happiness.

The gratitude I am thinking of comes when we accept all that the universe is. We see the perfection of creation, and our hearts open to receive What IS. An apprentice once looked up "acceptance" in the dictionary (because I talk about it a lot), and found this definition: "Readiness to receive." When you are ready to receive part or all of this amazing universe just the way it is, you are in acceptance.

When you are ready to receive the magnificence of Life, how could you not be in Gratitude...? And when you find that place inside often enough, you have made it a way of Life. Gratitude is a way of Life. And it is the way of a Life of love, acceptance, and receptivity.

It is the Spiritual Warrior's way in the world.

So, for those celebrating, Happy Thanksgiving. For those not in the US or those rejecting the holiday, I invite you to embrace your gratitude for Life. It is quite a gift, you know.

Go out and hug a Pilgrim or a turkey! And be grateful you can.

And now about Chacala once again!

I arrived at my winter home, The House of the Eagles in Chacala, Nayarit, Mexico, yesterday. The temperature today has been in the mild 80's, the skies blue, and the jungle around town filled with green and the many colors of flowers and butterflies.

I urge you to consider joining me here-- for our annual Valentine's Week workshop (February 10~14), a personal intensive with me (mid-January and mid-March now available), or simply to relax on the beach and watch a beautiful sunset (come as you are).

We will also be celebrating New Year's in Chacala: "A Conscious Beginning ~ Embracing Abundance." Please join us.

Some of the details are here (The Joydancer site is under revision)

Please contact me directly for more information: allanh@sonic.net

Pictures speak a thousand words... here are 10,000 words about my beloved Chacala... I look forward to seeing you here.

Chacala is located 90 minutes north of Puerto Vallarta, in the state of Nayarit, on the tropical west coast of Mexico. Puerto Vallarta is an easy flight from everywhere. I can help you with transportation from PV and lodging in Chacala.

We are a village of about 400 wonderful and warm Mexican locals, and a small number of smart and/or lucky "internationals." The beach is clean and safe, the fish and shrimp at the beach restaurants are fresh from the sea. Sunsets can be spectacular. Comfortable lodging $40-65 USD per night.

Please pay no attention to the media sensationalism about violence in Mexico. Yes, there is trouble, mostly in border cities. I drove 2,065 miles down from Nogales, AZ, and most of Mexico remains a lovely, friendly, peaceful country. Puerto Vallarta is rated as one of the safest cities in the world -- and Chacala, well, watch out for those margaritas at Las Brisas on the beach!

There is NO reason for you not to come down. Join me for New Year's or Valentine's celebrations, a personal intensive of five days or more, or come on vacation and let me show you my paradise... and the best place on the beach for a margarita and sunset.

Did I mention it is warm in the middle of the winter!!??

Get in touch, and we'll go from there. My website is in a bit of disarray, so contact me directly as needed: allanh@sonic.net.

Yours in love and The New Dream of Peace in the Hearts of All Humans,

Allan

You Are Good Enough For Love

2010-12-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

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The misperception that causes the most trouble in all relationships is the idea that we have to prove we are good enough to be worthy of love and acceptance. It is the basic lie of our childhood domestication, and the foundation of all the other life-limiting beliefs we've made in our lives. The lie says we won't be able to relax and really enjoy our lives until we have improved, enhanced, developed, achieved, and reached the ultimate in our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual skills and capabilities.

When you stop to think about it, it doesn't really make any sense. Does IT!? We have to be better to be worthy of love? Everyone has to be better than they are? Weird. Everyone has to reach higher standards of achievement than... who? Themselves? Each other?

We learned we weren't good enough when our caregivers set conditions for their love. They made it clear they were angry, disappointed, hurt, sad, or uninterested because of our attitudes, behaviors, or lack thereof. What we did wasn't good enough for them to be constantly delighted in us.

So we learned to hide our emotions, needs, and truth, in order to avoid their rejection and earn their approval, acceptance, safety, love, or interest. For many of us, the agreements from childhood became the agreements of our adult lives. Most adults believe they must prove their worth. And romantic relationships with that lie as a foundation are doomed to failure. When two people are trying to get each other's approval by pretending to be someone they are not in order to hold on to the "love" from the other... there is only fear, not real love.

Here it is:

"You can never be good enough by proving you are!"

I said that. And I'll say it again and again!! The only thing you have to do is KNOW you are okay right here, right now, in this moment -- you are a perfect, glorious inspiration of Life, from Life, and as Life. There is nothing to prove, defend, get right, justify, hide, or improve! You are actually the source of love in your life.

If you don't know that simple truth, your relationships will always be difficult, because you will always be trying to prove your worth, and denying the truth of the real you.

I counsel singles and couples to guide them to relationships based on the truth of the perfection of themselves, their partners, and the universe. It is the only way I know to be at peace and IN love, with self and others.

"Allan, we are increasingly appreciative of the time we spent with you, and for what an amazing teacher you are." L.M., Canada

I would be honored if you offered me the opportunity to support you in the same way I did with Kevin and Karen (a married couple I counseled in an article featured in "FIRST for Women" national magazine) and countless others in the last 20 years. We can work by Skype, phone, or here in Chacala during my Valentine's Relationship Retreat or with a personal intensive. I am here to serve you.

Please read about my counseling options here

Read the article about my work with Kevin and Karen here

Read my article about The New Relationship ~ Five Agreements to Make Love Come True

And purchase the 5 CD set of my Five Agreements here

Please contact me, and we'll go from there. My website is in a bit of disarray, so contact me directly as needed: allanh@sonic.net

Yours IN love and The New Dream of Peace in the Hearts of All Humans,

Allan

A Question for don Allan, by Marianne Perchlik

2010-09-09T08:19:00.000-07:00

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This is an edited excerpt from one of the three weekly chats with Allan Hardman that take place in the Toltec Apprenticeship Community Online(TACO) available at Allan Hardman's website www. joydancer.com

Marianne: I wonder if we could go over exactly what is happening when fear grips us TACOallan… at some point… maybe a slow motion version

Allan Hardman:

Hmmmm….like a step by step….

Let’s see:

1. a situation, or event occurs in the universe.

2. The light from that event travels through space, the exact messenger of the event

3. the light from that event enters the channels of perception

4. The light picks up stored light in the channels of perception, and is distorted.

5. The mind sees the distorted version of the light and believes it is really what happened out there.

6. According to the habits and programming of the mind and what stored light was added to the incoming truth/light, an emotional reaction will occur in the physical body.

7. The mind will further believe the emotional reaction was caused by the event in the universe/creation.

8. thus, the mind strengthens its own belief in its distortions, contributing to increasing distortions and emotions later

9. We say that the Parasite is the source of the distortions

10. The parasite lives/feeds on fear

11. It is important to the parasite that the human it lives off of exeriences fear.

12. The parasite has the capacity to distort the incoming light in ways that create fear.

13. An important part of the parasite is the Judge, who is very capable of distorting perceptions to create fear.

14. The part that is afraid is the child, who grew up with the judge and the fear that he/she was not okay, not enough, and would die unless he/she figured out how to get it right.

15. He/she could never get it right.

16. And the judge reminds him/her that he/she never will get it right.

17. And the parasite eats the fear of the child.

18. And the fear creates more fear

19. And the parasite grows stronger

20. The warrior knows only love, and feeds the parasite love.

21. The parasite isn’t interested, wrong food

22. The warrior persists.

23. In time, the parasite remembers that its food is not fear, its emotions.

24. when the parasite begins to feed on love instead of fear, it can be healed

25. The warrior must be patient and persistant without expectations or attachments to the outcome.

26. When the parasite is feeding only on love, it becomes our ally.

27. An ally supports our highest good, with love and acceptance of the truth of who and what we truly are.

28. At that point, the parasite and ally and warrior and child slowly merge to become THE JOYDANCER ~ DANCING IN JOY WITH LIFE.

29. And so it is.

30. thank you

In this actual chat, which is available on the chat transcripts within the TACO website, there were actually 8 or so apprentices all asking other questions and responding to these individual responses that in this particular case, Allan numbered for us in response to my question, and also in between responded to the many other questions from the others in the group... which is typical. The TACOchat is only one of the many learning tools available at TACO and the opportunities for engaging spiritual conversation with Allan and other apprentices in a forum that honors your distinct spiritual awakening among people all over the planet, at any time of day or night as is convenient for anyone, is a tool so crafted to be available and present for each seeker, it is truly a glory of God today.

Allan Hardman is a joy to behold. For me, it was helpful that he was not someone from another culture. He is a regular guy who grew up somewhere in Southern California, listened to the rolling stones, was once a beekeeper, and YET he is a Spiritual Master of such magnitude, there is no path he is afraid to walk to meet you if you are seeking. I hope for any one of my friends, that you can offer yourself the gift of such a wonderful Master of Love! The toltec teaching and language is also so playful, not at all a dogma, but a mere imagination to explore within yourself, take what works and move on...

Managing Emotional Intimacy

2010-07-20T06:22:00.000-07:00

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All relationships are based on agreements, and most agreements, especially in romantic relationships, are unconscious and unspoken.

A particularly well hidden and unconscious agreement about emotional intimacy occurs in most couples. It is usually part of the mating and courtship ritual because that is when those agreements need to be made, and then continues throughout the relationship. Almost everyone judges themselves about something, and usually many things. They reject themselves for who and what they are, what they need, what they think, what they want, what they are afraid of -- mostly according to the judgments and rejections of childhood. We are afraid of those parts of us being seen by another, because we know we will be rejected. After all, we already reject ourselves for them.

So, we have to hide them. We cannot allow another person, especially someone whose love we need or want to capture, see those parts of ourselves we reject. We wear masks, develop strategies, and drop into roles instead of being present. If someone who has lots to hide tries to mate with someone who is willing to show up to see and be seen, fear arises in the hider, and many excuses and stories will develop to discount and end the relationship. The one who doesn't need to hide can see too clearly, which is a danger to the one hiding.

So the agreement to manage intimacy needs to be between people with similar degrees of vulnerability. If a woman, for instance, has a level of fear about being truly seen, she will need to mate with a man who is equally afraid. She might complain about him not spending "quality time" with her, or tell her girlfriends she is lonely in the relationship. But if he goes off to a men's weekend workshop and comes back all opened up and wanting to look deeply into her soul, she will do whatever she can to sabotage his new-found openness. He is breaking their agreement.

My definition of intimacy includes the willingness to be vulnerable-- to allow someone to see past our masks and strategies and directly into the truth of who we are. If we are not intimate with ourselves, if we have not accepted and loved the truth of who we are as a unique expression of the divine force of Life itself, then we cannot be intimate with others at the deep level of true connection.

People who are open and willing/eager to be intimate in this way will also seek out people with a similar desire for that level of intimacy, and make the same agreements -- although theirs might be more conscious. It is really an agreement to manage the level of vulnerability and intimacy in the relationship.

So, needing to hide to whatever degree we do, we have to choose partners with a similar level of willingness. This is true for one of the couples that sought my guidance recently. While he and she were very different from each other, they were both wounded and hiding to the same degree. She was comfortable with his lack of connection (although she complained about it), his working all the time, and his extreme physical lifestyle, because it suited her fear of being seen and rejected. He was hiding in his work and perfectionism to avoid the same thing. It worked for many years until her desire to be more connected with life brought them into an apprenticeship with me.

As they learned to accept themselves as they are, they found a mutual love and companionship that transcends their rather different personalities. What joins them is a love for loving... loving and accepting themselves and each other and the world they live in. They really do enjoy each other now, and have a lot of fun together. They have a new agreement about intimacy, and it serves them well.

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To receive more of Allan's stimulating thoughts and wisdom, along with news events in the Joydancer Toltec Tradition of The Four Agreements, make sure to subscribe to Allan's e-newsletter, "The Weekly Word and News" on Joydancer here: http://joydancer.com

Why Go on Spiritual Journeys?

2010-04-14T20:35:00.000-07:00

If you are on a path of personal transformation or spiritual growth, I encourage you to use spiritual journeys to sacred sites to enhance and empower your journey. Consider these benefits of spiritual travel.

• Spiritual journeys will take you to places that you might have never considered exploring alone, or will offer you insight into sacred sites that you would never experience on your own. I followed my teacher to the pyramids and temples of Egypt, the Mayan jungle cities of the Yucatan, Guatemala, and Honduras, to Machu Picchu and the magical Inca sites of Peru, Oaxaca, and many times to my favorite, the Toltec pyramid complex of Teotihuacán, Mexico.

• Being in a sacred site away from home releases you from the confines and expectations of people and work, and frees your mind and soul to embrace exciting new possibilities about Life and Love. I guarantee that gazing out from the top of a pyramid after a powerful ceremony, or taking in the sweep of an ancient city like Peru’s Machu Picchu from a high terrace, will offer you a new and perhaps challenging view of your life at home.

• Many sacred sites in the world were built in the ancient mystery school traditions to be “Universities” of silent knowledge and transformation, and that power endures in the dream of each place. When you enter a site like Teotihuacán or Machu Picchu, you are overcome with the spiritual power of the site, and the living intent of those who built it many centuries ago. You are invited to allow their dream to become your reality-- the dream of the absolute Divine Perfection of all of the Universe, including YOU.

• Trips guided by an experienced spiritual teacher offer you opportunities to learn new tools to strengthen the freedom and transformation you have mastered, and to take them home with you to integrate into your daily life.

• In addition, there is the pleasure of bonding and playing with a group of like-minded new friends, and to engage in exotic Power Shopping for yourself and your loved ones that are stuck back home.

The pyramid complex at Teotihuacan in central Mexico is a good example of a powerful spiritual journey site, and my favorite. Perhaps you have read about “Teo” in Beyond Fear, by Miguel Ruiz.

Teo was built two millennia ago, by a little known people often called the Toltecs. The pyramids are easy to get to near Mexico City, blessed with wonderful hotel accommodations, and yet exist in a different world. Teotihuacán means “The Place Where Humans Awake and Remember They are Divine.” What place could be more perfect for a journey of exploration into the spiritual truth of who you are?

The ancient Toltecs gave us three masteries: The Masteries of Awareness, Transformation, and Intent. Teotihuacan is designed as the ideal place to explore each of these masteries. As you move through the complex, you first become aware of the “Mitote” in your mind-- that sound of 1000 people talking at the market place and nobody listening. That confusing and sometimes abusive noise has been programmed into your mind during childhood, and for most people it is the operating system of adult life. It generally does not serve you.

The Mastery of Transformation offers you many tools for re-programming your mind as you choose. When you truly do have choice, my assumption is you will choose to be free from suffering, blame, jealousy, or any of the other reactions that go against your happiness.

After you have transformed how you dream your life, and you are always in a love communion with Creation, you enter the Mastery of Intent, or the Mastery of Love-- Divine Love and acceptance for all of Life. This is the key to true spiritual and human happiness.

Teotihuacán has been built for this journey, and the magic of the place and the energy of the many who have found spiritual awakening there supports the healing and transformation of all who open themselves to receive it.

No matter where your path of personal empowerment takes you, I encourage you to experience spiritual journeys. Leave your books, family, home and clocks behind-- go to sacred places of magic and power, with a teacher or guide that will support your opening to the awe of pure awareness and love. Go away, to come home to yourself.

Join me in Mexico this October! Watch my invitation here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtmQBhV3VCc

Your Sword in the Stone

2010-03-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

by Allan Hardman

After the death of Uther Pendragon, king of the Britons, there was great strife throughout the land, because there was no clear successor to the throne. So Merlin sent word that all of the barons and knights of the land must gather in one place to hold a tournament and there decide who might take the crown and rule the kingdom.

But when the noblemen gathered for the tournament, they found that Merlin had not come. Instead, they saw a huge stone with a naked sword of the brightest steel plunged deep into it. And in the blade of the sword were inscribed in letters of gold, “Whoever pulls this sword from the stone is the rightful king of Britain.”

Many believed they had rightful claim to the throne and attempted to pull the sword from the stone. One by one, they failed. Among those who came to the tournaments was Sir Ector, with his young son, Sir Kay, who had just been granted knighthood and was preparing to compete in the jousts.

When Sir Kay discovered that he had forgotten to bring his sword from their lodgings, he asked his younger brother, Arthur, to go back for it. Unable to find the sword, the young Arthur returned in despair. As he returned to the tournament grounds he saw a strange thing: a sword thrust into a stone. Knowing nothing of Merlin and the challenge, he effortlessly pulled the sword from the stone and took it to his brother.

On seeing Arthur with the sword, Sir Ector, who had been a loyal leigeman to King Pendragon, fell upon his knee and swore his loyalty to the new king of the Britons.

Sir Ector then told Arthur that he was not his real father. Arthur was in truth the son a a high-born noble. As a baby his life had been endangered, and so Merlin the Magician had delivered him to Ector to be raised as his son. Now, the oracle of the Sword in the Stone had spoken, and the boy named Arthur was the chosen one: the true King of the Britons.

You, like Arthur, are of noble birth, and your life was in danger. Your true identity was hidden while you were raised by others. In your domestication, you fell asleep to the truth of your noble birth and personal power.

The sword is your Word, your power of creation. Perhaps believing you were looking for the sword for someone else, you have come here to this place of the Spiritual Warrior, to discover your own power of creation. And now your challenge: The stone is the “Mitote,” the Dream of the Planet. It is a dream based in fear and judgement and lack — it is the dream in which your Word is held. Are you ready to claim your right to be the true king of your inner kingdom? Are you ready to use your word to create gratitude, love, loyalty, and justice, both within and without?

The sword is your Word, the stone is your Mitote. Perhaps this is your moment. Seize it!

The Divine Valentine

2010-01-26T10:25:00.000-08:00

This universe we live in an amazing place. It is beyond amazing, to the point of unimaginable. If you were going to invent a universe, would you have thought of all the details that are here?

It was raining pretty hard yesterday, and I began thinking about what a great system that is. All of life needs water to survive. Most of the water is in the ocean, and so a system was developed in which the water would lift up from the ocean into fluffy white balls (“clouds”) which would then drift over the land, and the water in these white balls would form droplets and (more or less) gently scatter themselves all over the land.

The land soaks up as much of the water as possible to hold for plants and animals to use, and the extra runs back into the ocean, where it waits to be lifted back into the air for delivery to the land again. Not only that, but the “clouds” are able to lift the water and leave the salt in the ocean, because the salt would be harmful to the plants and animals.

Would you have thought of those details? Or how about inventing a system to heal wounds? Or how to keep a heart beating three billion times in a human’s life—without the human even having to be aware of it!? Wow!

We are spinning through space on a ball of molten rock in a universe that is so huge (or so small) and so marvelously complex there is no way to comprehend what is going on here. There is a force here, a creative, animating power that we cannot see except by being aware of what it does. And it does everything in the entire universe.

This mysterious force is everywhere. It is in everything. They say that before anything was here, it was here. That must mean that it made what is here out of itself, since there was nothing else to make things with before anything else was here. Yes? There is One perfect whole-- which means to me that all the parts of the whole must be perfect, also.

If that is true, then YOU are clearly made by and out of that creative force, that Divine energy… Spirit, Life, God, Love. You are both made from and animated by the Divine Life Force that is the only thing here, in and through all of Creation. If the whole is a perfect One, then the parts must be perfect, also. And since you are a part of this universe, then I insist that you are perfect, also. Logic demands it, Spirit knows it.

There is no place where that Divine Perfection stops and anything else begins… nowhere it stops and you begin. You are perfect. You are The Divine.

You are the Life, the Spirit, the Love that is the Universe.

YOU ARE THE DIVINE VALENTINE. HAPPY DAY!

Thank you for sharing Allan’s message with others

We are delighted to have you share the articles and all the information onJoydancer.com, with friends, family, strangers, print media, and web sites. We ask you to include the following biographical source notes, including a link back to Joydancer.com. We enjoy hearing where Allan’s love and wisdom has found a place in the world, so drop us a note and let us know:articles@joydancer.com

THIS:

Allan Hardman is an author and expert on personal and spiritual transformation, relationships, emotional healing-- and a Toltec Master in the lineage of don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements.™ Allan teaches in Sonoma County, CA, guides “Journeys of the Spirit” to sacred sites in Mexico, and hosts wellness vacations to tropical paradises. He is the author of The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book , and co-author of two books with Deepak Chopra, Caroline Myss, Dr. Andrew Weil, Prince Charles, and others. subscribe to Allan's free e-newsletter, The Weekly Word, and visit his extensive website at www.joydancer.com ~ or join "TACO," his online spiritual networking community at: http://taco.joydancer.com

On Becoming a Toltec Dream Master

2010-01-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

We awaken to the truth that "reality" is all a dream and we are the dreamers.

By Allan Hardman

In your nightmare, you are running and running... there is no way to escape... you feel the fear pounding through your body. Suddenly, you awaken, maybe drenched in sweat, and realize that it was only a bad dream. You were dreaming it, and it was not real. You are safe.

Imagine with me that your life now is only a dream. Imagine that you are asleep in a different way, dreaming your life, projecting it out through your belief systems and agreements into a world that simply dreams it with you. Perhaps your dream scares you. Or perhaps it seems out of your control, and you are running, running, and there is nowhere to feel safe.

Now imagine what it would feel like to awaken and realize that you have been dreaming this dream of your life, and it is not real... no more real than your nightmare. Imagine that you could awaken and discover that everything you believe and know to be "true" about life and the world is only a dream. You awaken to discover that a long time ago, you were "domesticated." You were taught the dream of your life by the people that were there ahead of you, dreaming their dream of life together.

You awaken, and in your new awareness, you decide to dream your dream for yourself. You decide to become a master of your own awareness, to direct your own attention and discover what you believe to be true. You awaken from their dream, and begin to dream your own dream. And you feel safe, maybe for the first time.

With the Toltec Masteries of Awareness, Transformation, and Intent, we awaken to the truth that "reality" is all a dream and we are the dreamers. In our awakening, we rebel against our domestication, and create our new dream of life. You awaken, you become a Dream Master, and your life becomes a masterpiece of art.

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Allan Hardman is an author and expert on personal and spiritual transformation, relationships, emotional healing-- and a Toltec Master in the lineage of don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements.™ Allan teaches in Sonoma County, CA, guides “Journeys of the Spirit” to sacred sites in Mexico, and hosts wellness vacations to tropical paradises. He is the author of The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, and co-author of The Heart of Healing and Healing the Heart of the World, with Deepak Chopra, Caroline Myss, Dr. Andrew Weil, Prince Charles, and others. Visit Allan’s extensive website and TACO, his online spiritual networking community, at www.joydancer.com.

Five Ways to Avoid Intimacy

2009-09-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

When an apprentice called me to tell me his wife was thinking about leaving him, he was mystified about what more she could want from him. He worked hard, supported her so she could be a stay-at-home Mom, he mowed the lawn, and kept the oil changed in the car. He was always busy with tasks and duties to support his family. He was feeling unappreciated, and helpless to get it right for her.

In my previous writings, I have shared my definition of intimacy as “our willingness to be open and present and share ourselves with others.” I have also described how we lost our connection with our feelings during our childhood domestication, when we were made wrong and punished for them. As adults, to be open and share ourselves with others carries the same fear that it did when we were young. We cannot afford to be present and known as ourselves because of the danger of being rejected, cast out, abandoned, punished, or worse.

So the intimacy we crave is, at the same time, our biggest fear. It is not surprising that many of us have created strategies, mostly during childhood, to protect us from being seen and being known. I offer you here five of the ways people in our culture have learned to avoid intimacy.

When I listened to the story of my apprentice, I noticed that he had many judgments about his wife. He complained about her lack of attention to him because she was always rushing off to help friends, strangers, and causes in need. He told me he wasn't really attracted to her because she wasn't taking care of herself and her body the way she used to. My apprentice had many justifications for being distant from the woman that he was afraid of losing.

In our conversation, my apprentice illustrated two major strategies anyone can use to avoid intimacy with their beloved.

#1: Stay very busy. Always make sure you don't have time to sit, be present, and share with your beloved. She might find out that you are not who you pretend to be. Projects are more important than people. Focus on getting a lot of things done and done well. If you can sacrifice yourself in the process, you can make the other person feel guilty for complaining about your lack of presence.

#2: Judge the other person. Whether it is out loud or silently to yourself, make sure you find and illuminate their faults. This will justify your not wanting to be present with them. It also serves to validate your superiority. When you rise above them, you don't need to be intimate.

It turned out that my apprentice's wife was also illustrating a couple of good strategies for us. She was constantly overwhelmed by taking care of her husband, children, and home, the aging family dog, and her many social and ecological causes. In her rush to get everything done and take care of everyone else, she was not taking good care of herself and her own needs—she said she wanted to, but couldn't find the time. She gives us…

#3: Be a caretaker of others. Caretake to hide. You really want to be intimate, but you are needed elsewhere. When the chores are done, the kids are in bed, all your needy friends have been heard and consoled, the old dog is spoon-fed, and the whales are saved, then you will have time to go for a walk, take a weekend off together, or sit and talk.

#4: Become unattractive. If your partner finds you unattractive, he might not want to relate deeply. Gain some weight, stop using makeup, wear baggy clothes. If you are a man, gain some weight, shave irregularly, and belch regularly.

#5: Anything else you can think of! Do whatever it takes to avoid being seen and known. Drink a bit too much wine at dinner and fall asleep on the couch. Be addicted to TV sports. Work late. Make sure all conversations are intellectual, scientific, or political-- not personal. Remember you need to call a friend, check your e-mail, or finish your novel when your beloved has that "I want to talk" look. Read to the kids and fall asleep on their bed. Be angry, depressed, or stay in La La Land. Tell jokes, gossip, teach or preach-- anything but be real.

There is no need to practice. For many people, these great strategies for avoiding intimacy come naturally. They were learned long ago, and have been mastered through years of practice.

How do you avoid the dangers of intimacy?

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You are invited to share this article with friends, online, wherever. Please include this bio if you do. Thank you.

Allan Hardman is a relationship coach, author, teacher, and Toltec Master, trained by Miguel Ruiz in the tradition The Four Agreements. He teaches in Sonoma County, and guides spiritual and romantic journeys to sacred sites and tropical beaches in Mexico and beyond. He is the author of The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book. Information about his work with The New Relationship ~ Five Agreements to Make Love Come True, and other offerings are at: www.joydancer.com. To inquire about counseling by phone, call (707) 528-1271. E-mail comments: allan@joydancer.com.

The Lie of Love

2009-09-19T15:31:00.000-07:00

Could it be possible that we were lied to about love? I think so. I think we have been taught a big lie about Love. To understand the origin of the lie, we need to go back to a time, not too long ago, in a place, not so very far away. That is the time you were a small child.

In that time not too long ago, you were domesticated. You were taught what was good and what was bad, what was right, and what was wrong. Your parents and caregivers were invested in a reality they had been taught, with all of its beliefs and agreements. They believed their reality was the truth, and it was very important to teach it to you. Of course, it was a totally arbitrary reality based on what they had been taught, and had nothing to do with any actual "Reality." This is what Toltec wisdom calls, “dreaming.”

So your caregivers taught you their version of good and bad. In order to do that, they needed you to be afraid of the consequences of not believing them. It was called "behaving," but it was more about you believing the reality of their dream, and agreeing to deny yours. They told you they were the source of approval, acceptance, safety, and love in your life. We all learned from our caregivers that in order to receive our share of this very vital commodity we had to behave according to their demands.

What we learned in childhood is ubiquitous throughout our entire culture, and taught to each crop of new humans: "Love is a commodity that lives outside of you, and you must be good, get it right, behave, and perform properly, in order to receive your share."

That is the lie of love.

When your domestication began, the first thing "they" had to do was create fear in you, so you would be, do, feel and behave as they required. The fear they taught you was the fear of punishment, the fear of rejection, the fear of not getting the commodity of love and acceptance. They convinced you to forget yourself as love. You had no choice but to agree.

They taught you the lie of love.

I am writing to remind you of the truth: You are Love, you are Life itself. You are an individual unique manifestation of the Divine Oneness. You are creation's gift of love to this universe. You are LOVE! You are LIFE! There is nothing you need to do to earn that, and no way you have to behave to deserve it. You ARE it!

In our romantic relationships, we domesticate each other. We tell each other, through words and thousands of subtle signals, how we expect each other to behave in order to earn and hold onto our love. We use the reward of acceptance and attention, and the punishment of judgment and rejection to enforce our relationship domestication. And what is even more bizarre, we do it to ourselves in our own inner worlds!

I invite you to deny the lie of love. There is nothing you must do to earn love, and no dance you need to do to keep it. Love is not a commodity; it is the truth of who and what you are.

You are an unlimited source of Love. Please share it freely with yourself and others!

Thank you.

A Poem Inspired by The Joydancer Summer Celebration of Life

2009-09-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

"In the Beginning. . ."

In the beginning there was darkness

And the darkness was named “Love.”

The darkness was alone,

And longed to share Love with Other.

The darkness was potential and power,

And made a lover, a manifestation of Love.

Creation was born, made from the body of Love

As a companion and reflection of Love.

Creation was born of Love,

Animated by Love,

A mirror for Love,

And we know it as Life.

Love becomes Life,

And celebrates itself as Creation.

Life celebrates Love,

And Love celebrates Life.

We are that Love, we are that Life.

Let us know ourselves as Love,

Let us know ourselves as Life,

Let us celebrate Love and Life

Let us celebrate both, together,

In the dance of Love,

The dance of Life,

Celebrating in Joy.

We are Joydancers!

"Finding the Sweetness"

2009-01-07T14:49:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

You know, it is easy to focus on the bad stuff.

I hear the news in the US is all about doom and gloom, financial crises, and worse-- sprinkled with hope that a new President can turn it all around and make the old New. Here in the village of Chacala, Nayarít, Mexico, we don't have much of that. Yes, some of the local merchants mention that business is slow, but they also live in paradise, and, hey, tortillas are subsidized by the government! What's to worry!?

Underneath all the fear, all the worry about the future, if we look, I think we can always find the sweetness, the truth, the love. Someone dear to me wrote this to me a couple of days ago:

MySelf and Other are not separate, and the truest love that I have known is the deep abiding respect and acceptance that grows out of that recognition. When I rest in this place, there is no power struggle, there are no differences, and no one to bump up against. There is sweetness, kindness, and faith in Life. There is Love. Simple, sweet love.

There is always sweetness, kindness, and love, simple, sweet love. If we can remember to look, I think we can always find the sweetness.

I was surprised and honored to do some healing work today, in a village an hour from here. I sat with a young woman I knew as a child many years ago, who was nearly paralyzed-- I was told from a great grief. Her hand was cold. She could hardly speak or move. What could I do, but find the sweetness? I helped her bring warmth and strength to her hand.

I kept repeating, "No tienes la culpa." It is not your fault. I asked her if she really really wanted to walk back into her life. She said Yes. I invited her to be a tiger. To growl! To bring the warmth and new strength in her hand into her whole body. And really, all I was doing was finding the sweetness, my faith in Life. Simple, sweet love.

She cried, and she smiled. I could see her pain was huge, and I could also see she was not the pain. She was the sweetness. The light. So beautiful. Such love. And such a broken heart. And still the sweetness lives.

I don't know what will happen. I will go back and visit. I will see the sweetness, and invite her to see it too. Maybe she will, and maybe she won't. But I will. I will know the sweet simple love that she is and that we share.

I am writing this on New Year's Eve to remind you, and me, to Find the Sweetness. New Year's Eve is an arbitrary event, in a way, but special. It is often a time we set intentions, make resolutions, and plan who we will be in the future.

My invitation for this evening, this day, this beginning of a New Year, is to set an intention, make a habit, to demand of your mind, to Find the Sweetness. Find the love, the kindness, and the Faith in Life. Go deep into the truth of who you are-- you are Love. No less. The same love that created you is what you are! Find THAT sweetness within.

And then share it with your world. If there is healing to be done, this is the way we will heal.

Find the Sweetness.

And so it is.

Happy New Year

Joyful Sweetness.

And Love.

A New Year's REVOLUTION

2008-12-31T22:33:00.000-08:00

"Making a New Year's REVOLUTION"

We need another REVOLUTION! People in the United States, here in Mexico, and most other countries in the world have revolted against tyrannical and abusive leaders throughout history. Sometimes the revolutions are successful and new freedoms have emerged and stayed, and other times the Big Parasite has triumphed and freedoms have been lost, only to fought for later.

I think we have already learned that the resolutions we make for the New Year don't last long or work out very well. Out intentions are good, but something usually goes wrong. Perhaps you resolve to give up a habit that goes against you, slim down or buff up, be more loving, meditate more, give up sugar, be nicer to your partner, find a partner to be nice to, pay off your credit cards, make more money, find a better job, start your own business, keep your house/ car/ clothes/ kids/ dog cleaner, and hundreds of other good intentions.

If you have made New Year's resolutions in the past and "failed" to keep them, and then been mad at yourself or judged yourself for your failure, please, Please, PLEASE don't do that again this year. Instead, join me in a New Year's REVOLUTION.

Revolt and rebel against the voice of that Judge in your mind that says you "should" make all those changes, and then makes you wrong for being who you are and not following through! Don't tolerate anyone inside or out criticizing you. You are not bad, not wrong, not a failure at anything! Revolt!

Rebel! Fight Back!! Make 2009 the year of your revolt, your revolution against the tyrannical and abusive voices in your head that question you, doubt you, or judge you. Make this the New Year of Freedom in your life!

YOU ARE PERFECT. I REPEAT, YOU ARE PERFECT, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, AND JUST THE WAY YOU ARE NOT!

I hope you will think about this if you have not; or, if you need to again:

This universe is animated by an amazing and unknowable force. It seems to be in everything, from trees to turtles, from grains of sand to galaxies in space, and from algae in the swamp to humans in the shoe store. It is everywhere. It is even that force that holds the air between the swamp and shoe store in place, moving, balanced in its elements, and available for all life.

We can call this animating force LIFE. And I think you will agree that there seems to be only one of them. Trees are animated by the same Life force as turtles (and shoe stores). If there is only one Life animating everything in the universe, then YOU are created, animated, and directed by that Life. If we look at the sum total of everything Life creates and animates, we can see that it is all the same, one unified whole, one living being of Life, manifested in countless forms in a physical world.

(Still with me?)

My point: If there is only one thing here, in all of its different manifested forms, then it is all PERFECT-- there is nothing to compare it to, nothing outside of it. If the one whole is perfect, then every part of it has to be perfect. And YOU are part of it! Therefore, you are perfect! YOU are Life!

So, back to the REVOLUTION. Any voice-- inside or out, any person, event, memory, fear, or judgement that doubts your perfection is lying. LYING! Do I make myself clear?? LYING. There is nothing to fear, nothing to doubt. Just to be YOU! As Life. The perfect manifestation of a perfect force.

Then, if you want to work out or be more loving, of course, go ahead! But not because you "should" or have to, to prove you are okay, or are worthy of love. LIFE IS WORTHY OF LOVE ~ LIFE IS LOVE. You are Life.

REVOLT! Make this January calendar change your New Year's REVOLUTION. Stand up for your freedom, for your perfection, your Divine right to be exactly who Life is, as you! Let us declare our freedom from the tyranny and fear inside first, then the outside. Let's not waste any more time! NOW is the time for the Revolution! The goal is a world of peace inside and out, or as don Miguel Ruiz says, ". . .to the eternal happiness of humanity."

If you think it is time for this personal and planetary revolution, and would like to share these ideas with others, please do so, and copy and paste with this information:

This invitation for Revolution is from Allan Hardman, Toltec Master, at http://www.joydancer.com

My First Night in Chacala- a story about no stories

2008-11-14T11:05:00.000-08:00

For those of you following my adventures, and my dream, here is the end of this traveling part of the saga.

After an exciting and boring five-day drive from home in northern California, I arrived in Chacala, Nayarit, in the late afternoon of Friday. What a relief to be out of the truck, to be "home" in Chacala, and especially to be able to move into my new house here.

Local people showed up to help me move all the boxes into the house, some downstairs, some up to the vacation rental unit where I will be living until the main house downstairs is improved, furnished and beautified.

It was getting dark by the time we finished, so I walked into "town" to welcome myself to Chacala. It was a warm and balmy evening-- just the way I like them. After saying Hello, I stopped by Las Brisas, wiggled a plastic chair into the sand, and ordered a real margarita to celebrate. The half-moon was hanging overhead, the moonlight was glistening on the gentle surf, and there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be.

About the time I finished the margarita, I became aware of the word "Teotihuacan" drifting on the tropical air, and turned to discover a couple, his brother, and their two little kids at a table behind me. The brother had just been at Teo, and was describing his visit.

Of course I had to say: "Excuse me, but you just said my Magic Word." They invited me to join them, and we shared our stories. Suddenly, one of them said, "Hey, you must be the guy that wrote the book on Toltec Wisdom that is in the room we are staying in here!"

Yup. I knew I was home!

After we parted company, I slowly walked back to my room to sleep. The moon was bright, the air was so very soft, and I was in no hurry. I turned the key in the door lock and went around and around and around. The lock had broken. I couldn't get into my room.

As I stood there comprehending my circumstances, mildly buzzed on the tropics, I noticed that I was not telling myself any stories about my situation-- there was only curiosity about what Life would offer next. I liked that. And so, of course, I turned the key around and around again!

I walked downstairs and into the street, and thought: "OK, Life, show me." I turned right. I strolled. When I got to Antonia's, I knew she might be a source of a bed for the night in one of her rentals. She wasn't home. So, I walked a few more blocks, bought a bottle of water, came back, and waited in the dark.

When Antonia came home she was happy to see me, and I was happy to see her. She offered me a bed in a little unit, and as she moved the plastic chairs out of the from doorway with no door (it was in town being painted) she said: "Thank goodness there aren't any thieves in Chacala." It was hot, and I slept.

In the morning, the former owner of my house, borrowed a big rickety ladder next door, climbed into the vack patio of my carefully locked room, opened the door, and replaced the lock for me.

Later in the day, I noticed gazillions of tiny little ants streaming across the bed. I followed them until I found their secret lair-- under the mattress! If I had slept in that bed the nigh before, it would have been very interesting. "Man's Tropical Dream House Becomes Nightmare!"

Now, all is well.

Thank You, Life.

The Joydancer Summer Celebration of LIFE!

2008-06-18T15:39:00.000-07:00

Wow, I am excited about our fourth annual Joydancer Summer Celebration of Life.

It is going to be an amazingly wonderful event. With talks by me, Allan Hardman and a host of talented teachers, ceremonies, and music by Melissa Phillippe, James Nihan, it just doesn't get any better than this! And you MUST be there! (In fact, I heard your soulmate is going to be there).

The Joydancer Summer Celebration of Life

THEME 2008: "Faith in Life"

DATES: August 8 ~ 10, 2008

LOCATION: Walker Creek Ranch, in West Marin County, northern California

COST: Varies depending on accommodations and options. Lots of camping available, dorm, or semi-private rooms. Cheap!!

THE WEEKEND: Friday evening through Sunday lunch. Five Meals, two nights. Music, lectures, experiential groups, a keynote talk by me, Allan Hardman, and a fire ceremony. At the Sunday morning Circle of Love we affirm our intentions to release the limiting beliefs that hold us back in our lives, and embrace new awareness and agreements to be in tune with Life itself, trusting it to guide and inspire us. You will be transformed!

OPTIONS: Come all day Friday for Men's and Women's Wisdom Circles, with Friday lunch and dinner.
Saturday night, experience an all-night DreamTime Mitote, and blow that old dream right out of your mind!

The Joydancer Summer Celebration of Life

We everyone who wants a better life, more fun, greater personal freedom, and a heart filled with love to share this powerful weekend with us. That means you. Space is (really, actually, truthfully) limited, so make your reservation now. Don't be turned away from this incredible experience.

Read, listen to audio descriptions, and claim your space here:

The Joydancer Summer Celebration of Life

I look forward to sharing this powerful weekend with you.

Yours IN love,

ALLAN

The True Meaning of Forgiveness

2007-12-27T11:11:00.001-08:00

"The True Meaning of Forgiveness"

Most religions and spiritual paths include some sort of system or expectation of forgiveness. Very often, unfortunately, these ideas of forgiveness include judgement and a sense of victimization: "You are a __________, and you have hurt me, but I forgive you." Someone once said (or maybe oftener) that everything after the word "but" in a sentence is a lie. In this case, I believe that is true. This is not real forgiveness, it is a generosity for the sake of appearing pious for the sake of the other person, the Judge Within, or God -- or all at once.

So what is true forgiveness? What better description could we find than in my new Everything Toltec Wisdom Book. . .??!!

"In the old dream, there is a "forgiveness" that is actually based on personal importance. It says: "You have hurt me, I judge and condemn you, but I am a better person than you, so I will forgive you." There are many variations on this theme, but they all reflect the old dream of wrongdoing, judgment, and victimization. It is not actually forgiveness at all.

When a Toltec Warrior clears an incident with recapitulation, there is no longer any hurt, no perpetrator, and no victim. The entire incident is released. There is no need to forgive, because from the eagle's perspective, there is no offense to be punished or forgiven. There is no blame. In the Toltec wisdom, this is the true forgiveness, knowing there is nothing to forgive.

This forgiveness results from a change of the assemblage point away from victim and perpetrator to the eagle's view of the perfection of the universe. The cleansing power of this truth releases poison from old emotional wounds. When the warrior applies the poultice of self-love to those cleansed wounds, they heal with only the trace of a scar. When someone touches that place, there is no longer a need to protect it, so the warrior can step forward with his arms wide open to embrace the world."

In the story of Jesus, they say he looked down from his cross, and said "Forgive them father, they know not what they do." Isn't this the message of true forgiveness? We are all doing our best, and sometimes we may react to others as though they deliberately hurt or betrayed us. The Toltec Warrior knows that this universe one big system of actions and reactions. Everything is in contact and changing and acting and reacting everywhere in every time.

There is no where that one action begins (perpetration) and ends (victimization). Everything is acting on everything else, constantly. In that action/reaction you can see the Divine Perfection of each and every movement in the matrix of our world.

There are many days set aside to focus on Forgiveness. Global Forgiveness Day is on August 27, 2008, World Forgiveness Day is March 3, and October 4, is International Forgiveness Day. If you are not ready to forgive yet, you can always wait until Regular Forgiveness Day, on June 26th. Of course these dates may change depending on what organization is promoting them.

Perhaps every day can be your Personal Forgiveness Day. You can begin with the self-forgiveness that says, "I am always doing my best. I am not bad or wrong. I am the only Me there is, and I am being the perfect Me." From that place of self-acceptance, you can accept not only yourself but all of Creation. After all, Creation is doing its best being itself, too.

You are forgiven.

This post is adapted from my Joydancer Weekly Word and News e-newsletter of August 3, 2007. To subscribe, go to my homepage at www.joydancer.com.

Celebrating This Winter Solstice

2007-12-20T09:54:00.000-08:00

THIS OFFERING ABOUT USING THE WINTER SOLSTICE IS A GIFT FROM FRANK HAYHURST, aka FRANCIS RICO, A TEACHER IN THIS TRADITION FROM SONOMA COUNTY, CA. . .
It is good advice for anytime, of course:

Beloved fellow travelers of the mystery trend:

Creation offers to share with us her gift of expansion of light, a gift 14
billion years in the making - a gift that is now appearing it's full
blazing glory this Friday, December 21st, at 10:08PM Pacific Standard Time.
(Work it out for your time zone.)

You might ask "how can we possibly share in this cosmic gift, considering
the toxic mess we humans are making of this little planet?"

A native holy man, Joseph Rael - "Beautiful Painted Arrow" - had a vision
of this moment, and he puts it this way:

"We humans have fooled around long enough, and God is now taking over. From
now on, we are going to get plenty of everything we focus on and act on. If
we focus on conflict, we will get more conflict. However, if we focus on
peace we will get plenty of peace. As soon as we focus on a goal, the
universe will take us in that direction."

So, a good question would be: What do you intend for yourself?

It is a wonderful opportunity we are being given! We are "presents" from
Creation to Herself. And, this Solstice Celebration is like a party at
which we are invited to open our present, to open to the precious gift that
we are, opening to find the deep wisdom and freedom that wrap the wild and
beautiful truth of our selves.

Could this be done anywhere, anytime? Yes.

However, with the spiraling energy of our Earth circling our Sun, in a
spiraling galaxy within an expanding cosmos -- well, you get the picture,
this Solstice is a special moment of whirling dancing Light -- of Light
returning to grow the seeds of intent that you select.

Another good question would be: What do you intend to grow in the Fields of
Light of your life?

On Friday evening, create a ceremony, a celebration, with friends. Make it
a party, a SERIOUS party! It is respectful to our hostess, Creation, to
align ourselves with her, leaving the petty hierarchies of humankind out on
the porch, like muddy shoes that are not invited inside.

Move into silence. Let Creation speak within your heart.

Then, CELEBRATE! Share this good fortune, this opportunity to live wild and
free, with all of our relations, our friends, families, neighbors, and ALL
who we share this gift of life with.

As you plant, so shall you reap. It has always been this simple, but as of
now, it is simple to the tenth power!

love you! Many blessings!

Frank - Francis Rico

The Secret About Dreaming

2007-08-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

In a recent post, I shared some of my “Secrets about The Secret.” I am pleased (of course) to hear from so many of you that agreed with my observations. You shared your experiences as friends and therapists listening to people’s self-judgment for failing to manifest the perfect life, and you shared your own frustrations from trying to use the ideas of The Secret and The Law of Attraction to change your circumstances.

Let us not use these criticisms of the latest pop-culture ideas about how to strike it rich (in money, love, and body perfect) to obscure a very important reality: You do manifest the universe you live in through how you dream it. What do I mean, and why is that different than The Secret?

Basic “Dreaming 101:” You do not see “what is out there.” The light you perceive reflects off the objects in the universe, and enters your mind through your eyes and other senses, and creates a little virtual reality in your mind. The image you see is in your mind, not out there in the universe. That is an amazing and indisputable fact: You only see what is in your mind’s virtual reality, not what is out in the world.

In the Toltec tradition, we call this virtual reality in your mind your “Personal Dream.” You are dreaming reality. Your body is an organ of perception—it collects data from the world around you. That information passes through “channels of perception” in your mind, picking up stored information made up of biases, agreements, emotional memories, fears, traumas, desires, belief systems, and all the knowledge stored in your mind.

That stored information distorts the incoming messages carried on the light, and it is the distorted light that creates the virtual reality dream. You look at that dream and think you are seeing “out there.” You are not. You are dreaming. We could call your mind an organ of “deception,” since it creates the distorted dream of a world that has nothing to do with what is really out there.

“The Secret” says that (simply stated) if you can think the right thoughts you will attract to yourself the right things. The Law of Attraction says that like attracts like. Miguel Ruiz, in The Four Agreements, tells us: Always Be Impeccable With Your Word. He explains that your Word is every thought, action, spoken word, and your most deeply held beliefs.

In other words, your Word is how you dream. Your dream was programmed into your mind from the very beginnings of your awareness. You were taught what was right and wrong, good and bad, who was Us and who was Them. All that stored information and knowledge, which you continued to add to and refine all of your life, is the dream of the world you live in.

The dream in your mind out-pictures itself into what appears to be Reality. If you dream that money is hard to get, so it shall be. If you dream that love is dangerous, you will attract dangerous love. If you believe you are not worthy of kindness and consideration, you will attract abuse and hurt. If you believe you have a Parking Fairy, you will believe the Fairy finds you parking places. It has nothing to do with the nature of the world or your ability to create it, but you will accumulate evidence for the truth of how you dream by what your dream creates—in the dream! None of it happens out there. Am I making sense?

Yes, it is true that your thoughts create your reality—but only in your mind. That is the only place that the universe you live in exists. Yes, there is a universe there, but you cannot perceive it. You can only dream. Everyone lives in a distinctly different universe.

If you can do your deep inner work, clean out the memories, traumas, old belief systems and agreements, etc, from your channels of perception . . .if you can clear away the conflicting desires and the resistance in your programming . . .if you can let go of any attachments to the outcome of your manifesting . . .then perhaps you can make these laws of The Secret work for you. If you get that clear, you probably won’t care about manifesting riches.

Of course, there is always the issue of the Action/Reaction nature of the universe to deal with. Everything is in action all the time everywhere, reacting with everything else in the nonexistent universe. Where does your power and influence begin?

We can come back to that part of the conversation next time.

Thanks for reading.

This post was adapted from "The Weekly Word and News," my e-newsletter from Joydancer.com.

My Secrets About The Secret

2007-08-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

“The Secret” and “The Law of Attraction” are the Big Buzz these days, and I am sure that many of you reading this are big fans. I think it is great that so many people are interested in ways to take responsibility for their lives using the power of their minds. I have a few thoughts to share with you about the other side of the teachings, and things to watch out for while practicing the principles.

In the book, The Secret, it says: “The Secret is the law of attraction! It has been . . .hidden, lost, stolen, and bought for vast sums of money. . .Everything that’s coming into your life you are attracting into your life. . .whatever is going on in your mind you are attracting to you. . . As you learn The Secret, you will come to know how you can have, be, or do anything you want.”

Here are some of my secrets about The Secret:

1. It is not a secret.

People have been writing books about how your mind affects your reality since the beginning of books. Jesus and Plato talked about it. Toltec Nagual and author of The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz wrote about it. Most of the authors and experts quoted in the movie and book have been writing about it for a long time.

That has nothing to do with the value of The Secret, it only points out the hype factor, which you may have noticed is pretty big. For many people, being able to have power over their lives and the choices they make is a big revelation. This is an important value of The Secret.

2. It does not always work.

If only it were as simple as “what you think, you get” and all you have to do is think good positive spiritual thoughts and your life would be devoted to what the book offers: “. . .eradicating disease, acquiring massive wealth, overcome obstacles, and achieving what many would regard as impossible.”

In The Four Agreements Miguel Ruiz invites us to be impeccable with our Word, because the Word is the creative force of the universe. He includes in the Word every thought, belief, action, and spoken word. It is the most deeply held beliefs and agreements that are this creative force. Affirmations on the bathroom mirror often do not change us, because there are other agreements that are held deep in the subconscious that are the creative forces in our universe.

It is true that our own personal universe is created by our thoughts, but we usually don’t even know what our thoughts are; or especially, how they are creating the world we live in.

3. It can be a big set-up for self-judgment.

If you see a movie or read a book and it tells you that you have the power to create any life you want, to create wealth and overcome disease and find the perfect relationship. . .well, it sounds great, of course, but if it doesn’t work. . .wow! This is a big set-up for The Judge. They say you can do this if you just do it right. You try, you apply the principles as you understand them, maybe some things work, and maybe you can’t get so much as a good parking space, let alone the riches and love!

The Inner Judge loves those moments, and will use them against you. Don’t let The Secret become another “should” -- like the latest diet you couldn’t stick with, or the gym membership that you never use.

If it were as easy as they say, everyone would be healthy, wealthy, and loved beyond measure.

This, to me, is the most important secret about The Secret: It is not that easy, and it is not your (spiritual) fault if it does not work the way it is advertised.

4. You might not actually have any choice.

This is really a subject worthy of a more thorough exploration than we can give it here, but let me say that The Secret works for those it works for. Their minds and belief systems are prepared in some way for what The Secret offers. For minds that are not prepared, the principles have no place from which to operate.

Again, if it worked as simply for everyone as advertised, we would all be there already. Enjoy The Secret and The Law of Attraction—and do it without any expectations that you should be able to quickly change your entire life and become rich and healthy because you changed your thinking. It is simple, it is true, and it is not easy.

Do your best, and accept yourself just the way you are. The rest is play.

Have fun!

The Hidden Power of Miguel Ruiz' Four Agreements.

2007-08-06T17:24:00.000-07:00

It has been ten years since Miguel Ruiz, author and Toltec Nagual, released his famous book, The Four Agreements - A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. Oprah has raved about it, movie stars quote it, and it is read in 32 languages around the world-- and yet many people miss some of the profound depths of this teaching.

Miguel Ruiz begins The Four Agreements by describing how each of us has been "domesticated" by our parents, relatives, siblings, teachers, church leaders, and others. We were expected to agree with their beliefs and agreements about good and bad, and right and wrong - and we did. We had no choice. It was "their way or the highway."

We agreed never to take the last cookie, to always put other people's feelings ahead of ours, to follow the rules, not touch ourselves there, and not talk back. We agreed to stay inside the lines, not be too happy, and always be nice. Following their rules helped us fit in and get our needs met.

Following their rules also had a price: We were required to abandon our truth and the freedom to express ourselves freely. We stopped looking inside for our direction, and learned to look outside to know what "they" wanted us to think and feel. This was a big price to pay for safety and belonging. We had no choice.

The Four Agreements have the power to break thousands of the limiting agreements that you made during your domestication, and set you free to be yourself. They are a wonderful gift. Unfortunately, many people misunderstand the deeper meaning of the agreements, or deny their power by imagining they are like some other philosophy or teaching. Let's take a brief look at each agreement here, and make sure you are using them as the powerful tools they are.

Agreement #1: Always be impeccable with your Word. Miguel Ruiz clearly explains that to be impeccable means to be "without sin," and he defines sin as "going against yourself." Therefore, to be impeccable with your Word is to not use your Word against yourself. Many people seem to miss this definition, and believe the agreement means they should always tell the truth, keep their commitments, and not cheat.

Your Word is a powerful force of creation in your life. How do you use your Word against yourself? The most common way is to judge yourself. The voices of your domesticators follow you around, critcizing what you do or don’t do, and how you do or don’t do it.

Can you imagine living without ever judging yourself for anything you say or do? Imagine your freedom to take action, to create, and to love with your heart wide open. Keeping this one agreement is all you need to go all the way to personal freedom. It is very simple, but not easy. The old habits are hard to break, but you can do it. The Toltec Path has many powerful tools that can help you identify and break the agreements that do not serve you, and I will be describing many of them here.

The other three agreements are given to us as support for the first.

Agreement #2: Don't take anything personally. The danger here is using this agreement as an attitude, rather than a ticket to freedom. The Toltec Wisdom teaches that we are all distorting reality based on our unique beliefs and agreements. Everyone is dreaming you, they are not seeing the real you. Therefore, anything they say to or about you is a description of their dream of you, and truly has nothing to do with you. Likewise, you are dreaming everyone else, and your dream of them has nothing to do with them. The universe it not personal. Be yourself, and enjoy your life.

Agreement #3: Never make assumptions. What a powerful invitation! Stay in the moment. Don't second-guess life. Don't assume you know what someone needs or is thinking. If you want to know, ask. This agreement will break all those lies that say it is bad to ask questions because you might embarrass or hurt someone, or you should know what other people are thinking and meet their needs before they have to ask. Many people think this is a minor agreement, but don't be fooled. Big power resides here. Stay in the juice of Life in this moment-- after all, this moment is the only time and place Life is happening!

Agreement #4: Always do your best. This agreement is often misunderstood to mean you should try harder, do more, and be better. Nothing could be farther from the intention of the agreement. Every choice you make is based on your programming, your previous experiences, and the information available to you-- and every choice is the best you can make in the moment. If you find out ten minutes or ten years later that you have other options, use them, act, change, and grow.

This agreement will break your belief in all the lies your inner and outer judges tell you about your failures, what you should have known or done better, and the grim prospects for your future. Without the voice of your inner judge you are free to be you. What a beautiful thing to behold.

Yours IN love and The New Dream,

Allan